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Five Myths About Zombies

What is true about the living undead.

Many people are afraid of an upcoming invasion of the living dead, however, there is no need to be scared about the stuff that isn’t true. Here is the list of 5 things that people assume zombies can do that is complete bull shit.

1) Zombies attack humans

You are walking down the street after having a party with you’r friends. You then see a figure stumbling around grunting. When you get to what you assume is another drunk from the party, he suddenly turns and attacks you… You are dead very quickly.

Thats you… dead.

So lets think about this, zombies are hungry for brains. You have brains, so why not attack you? Well for one, that means that this zombie is going to have to chase you down, after he does that he is going to have to kill you and then break into your skull using his bare hands (because zombies can’t use tools) and then he can finally enjoy his meal.

He looks so happy.

Now think about how much effort that takes, especially for someone who is technically dead. It would be so much easier if he didn’t have to run after his meal and then dig through flesh and bone to get some brains. If only their was a animal that didn’t move very fast and had some of it’s brain exposed. You know, like another fucking zombie.

The major reason that zombies attack humans is for food which would be much easier to get from the zombie next to them that has neither a weapon or a will to live. Some might say that the zombies don’t attack each other because they know they must work together, but if they’re that smart why don’t they just go raid the nearest 7/11 for food?

2) Zombies can’t talk.

You and you’r closest friends are holed up inside you’r fort when you suddenly hear yells for help coming from outside. You quickly throw open the door (because you recognize the screams as feminine and your fort is quite the sausage fest) and quickly invite her in before the zombie hoard gets her. All of the zombies saw this and now know how to get the door open… To bad they can’t talk.

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User Comments
  1. Mart the Noob

    On December 25, 2009 at 8:07 am

    I noticed some mistakes here and there. For example, a zombie doesn’t need blood or lungs, because he’s dead. They don’t need to breathe, and they don’t have a blood flow to talk about. All they need is the brain. You could take a severed head, get bitten by it, and turn into a zombie yourself. I like the face of the zombocalypse, though.

    P.S: It’s spelled your, not you’r. Just letting you know.

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