Is Your Front Door Ruining Your Sex Life?

SO WHAT’S ALL THIS ABOUT FRONT DOORS?

Well, it might seem odd, but Chinese tradition has it that if you combine your Kua number with the direction* your front door faces (it’s the combination of your Kua number and “chi” energy that does it!), you can discover if you’re destined to be lucky in love. See if it works for you…

KUA NUMBER FRONT DOOR DIRECTION

North South East West N/East N/West S/East S/West

1 A B C D E F G H

2 H F D C G B E A

3 C G A H F E B D

4 G C B F H D A E

5 (females) E D F B A C H G

5 (males) H F D C G B E A

6 F H E G C A D B

7 D E H A B G F C

8 E D F B A C H G

9 B A G E D H C F

* You may be able to work out your front door direction; if not, nick a compass from a passing Boy Scout!

Note: If you live in a flat, the front door is the main entrance, although it’s always a good idea to take the direction of the front door of the actual flat into account too. If they’re both facing dodgy directions, it’s double bad news!! (Sorry!)

KEY:

A – A right mess! The chi energy behind this door creates all sorts of confusion. Sometimes, your love-life – and sex-life – is a complete let-down; other times it’s totally fab! Confused? You will be unless you follow the tips in the Love Orientation section above.

B – Brilliant! Prospects for a great love life are excellent if you have this combination. If you’re already in a relationship, everything about it – sex included – is great; if you’re looking for love, you won’t be looking for long…

C – Peace perfect peace! A good combination of Kua number and front door direction! Sexually, intellectually and practically, this relationship is very positive. If you’re on the look-out for romance, you shouldn’t have any trouble finding it.

D – Rollercoaster romance! Your closest relationship could be a bit up and down (to say the least!). Your sex-life is weird – sometimes passionate; sometimes dead. There is a chance that things can be worked out, but not without a lot of effort and heartbreak on both sides. You could try following the tips in the Love Orientation section above – it might help.

E – Going downhill fast! Things were good, but they’re rapidly going off. Sex was wonderful – and regular! – at the start, but seems to have dwindled away to nothing. There could be some deception going on and this really isn’t the way to go. Put things right by taking some of the tips in the Love Orientation section above. Or, if you fancy being a drama queen, by moving house!

F – Get out quick! This relationship is mega-claustrophobic, with one partner making too many demands on the other. Possessiveness, ill health (on the bloke’s part) and sexual infidelity (on the woman’s. Tut, tut!) abound. Follow the tips in the Love Orientation section above, or change address!

G – Nice “n” cosy! This combination is very good, especially if you’re interested in settling down. Your sex-life is deeply satisfying: any relationships you start behind this front door, will be calm and loving and are likely to be of the long-lasting variety.

H – The pits! Don’t expect to have an easy time of it with this combination. Your sex-life blows hot and cold, misunderstandings on all levels lead to rows and, unless you can make some changes (follow the tips in the Love Orientation section above.), things are going to go from bad to worse.

Further reading: Love by Lillian Too, published by Element Books at £4.99.