Ten Predictions From Fortune Teller Madame Curio

Ten Predictions from Fortune Teller Madame Curio

We all love to hear about predictions in the future. Will I win the lottery? Will I be promoted? Will I inherit a million dollars? Unfortunately, many predictions are about upcoming disasters in your life. Here are ten predictions from the extraordinary Madame Curio:

1. You are about to fall into a trap where there is no escape. Better to break off your engagement right away.
2. I see a long line. It will lead you to a path of abject poverty. You will receive a number ninety-one. Welcome to the office of Unemployment.
3. You are about to be visited by a tall, sinister looking man. He is wearing all black except for his white shirt. He has an angry expression. You receive a card that says, “Congratulations. You are being audited.”.
4. Today you are going to see your doctor for your annual checkup. Prepare for the worst. It was nice knowing you.
5. I see many stars in your future. Yes, stars surround you. You have just been hit in the face by a 250 lb. tackle for going on a date with his girlfriend.
6. What goes up must come down. You are about to go down rather suddenly. Hope you enjoy your Flight 95. I do not see additional flights in your future.
7. You are in a cage with ten ferocious lions. You scream but nobody hears you. You wonder why you are locked up in a cage.
8. You are about to be greeted by three wise men from the past. They will impart upon you the ability to laugh, clown around, and hurt people in unsuspecting ways. The names of these sages are Larry, Moe, and Curly.
9. I see death all around you. You are stomping on an anthill. You are inflicting great pain. What kind of monster are you?
10. I see a name. The word is faint. It says Ali. Let me look closer into the crystal ball. Ah, now I see the whole name. It says Alimony. I wish to divorce myself from discussing this matter any further.