Astro-lemurs Wielding Giant Burritos – The Reason We Shouldn’t Worry About 2012

According to the famous people of the old Maya-religion, the world as we know it was created by the birth of Venus (August 13th, 3314 B.C.) The Mayan calendar is interpreted to last for about 5′125 years, which was the date of the predicted “End of the world”, according to the stunningly accurate Mayan astrologers. But as many people are already aware of, 2012 is not the only end of the world we should worry about. Many different scientists and religious front figures have brought their own theories about when, as for how the world will cease to exist. Among these, as a few examples, the rebirth of a god, the return of a son or the impact of a meteor. But as we dig deeper into the subject we find proof of the most extraordinary (and sometimes weird) theories about the end of our world.

Former director of Unarius Academy of science Charles Spiegel (A.k.a “Antares”) was very keen on his theory of the landing of the alien race referred to as the Pleideans. In the early 80’s, he claimed after working late in a post office that he had had a vision of a beautiful woman smiling at him. He later realized that his vision had been of the woman Ruth Norman, who he realized were to represent the academy at their landing, and thus greet the aliens at their arrival. The theory went that sometime in 2001, the long-time sunken city of Atlantis would suddenly rise up out of the surface ocean, shortly before the 33 Pleidean ships would land on the planet, and the 1′000 Pleideans would descend.The concept is unclear of what the Pleideans intentions were, but it is believed that they would pass on some kind of important knowledge to Ruth, perhaps of the end of the world.

Spiegel was to be second-in-charge of the greeting, behind Ruth. But of course, the operation turned out to be a great disappointment since no city rose out of the water, and no aliens landed…

A theory many people would compare with phenomenons like Mothy Python and Eddie Izzard would likely be the one of “The church of !BLAIR!”. As the title refers to, the followers of !BLAIR! believes (if even so) that if the human race do not pull themselves together and disregard the norms and stop being so “normal”, the gods will “remove their protective hands“ from our world by the 14:th of September, 2047, on the strike of 03:28 (GMT). And as a result, lemur-like creatures with rainbow-patterned bodies will be free to invade the planet of earth wielding giant burritos which they will punish the entire human race with by clubbing them mercilessly.

Whether theories like this are to be believed or not is presumably up to the reader to decide. Perhaps it is that as we approach December, 2012, people will run around in peril in the streets, shouting things like “The end is near!”. Starting to drink heavily, spending all their money and eventually falling asleep, only to wake up to nothing but emptiness…

- Or perhaps just wake up the next day and in agonizing disappointment realize that everything is still intact…