A Few Misconceptions About Gay Men
by A huge debate is in progress right now here in California over Proposition 8- whether or not gay marriage should be legal. I want to share with you a few of the misconceptions that I have heard about gay men.
First of all, I am not gay, I am also not homophobic. I am related to a gay man and know a few others which is why I chose to write about this controversial topic. Over the years I have heard some outrageous things said about homosexual men and I just wanted to clear a couple things up.
Just because you are a good looking guy, they are not going to try to kiss you or anything else. Chill out. I am willing to bet that you are aquainted with at least one homosexual man and you don’t even know it. Why should you treat them any differently than you would any other man? Not every woman alive wants your body ( sorry to disappoint you), so what makes you think that every gay man wants your body? They don’t. Their attraction for someone works pretty much the same way the attraction between a man and a woman works. The only difference is that they like other men instead of women. So you don’t understand that, okay, but that doesn’t give you the right to say that they can’t be who they are.
Not all homosexual men act like women. There is nothing wrong with acting like a woman, don’t get me wrong. If you were to meet my gay relative, you would never know that he was gay. He looks, talks, and acts just like any other guy. The only real difference, and this is one I love, is that he is so easy to talk to. It is true that gay men are a woman’s best friend. They understand what you are talking about and can comiserate with you. Go ahead, bash men to one of your gay friends! He’ll be right there with you, then may even go shoe shopping with you when you’re done!
This last one, I have to tell you, blew me away when I heard it. I had a neighbor go off, not knowing how I felt about it or about my relation, about this and I was shocked beyond words. GAY MEN ARE NOT PEDOPHILES!!! Just because they like other men does not mean that they are after little boys! How could anyone think that!?!? There are so many pedophiles out there that are not gay, why would any one believe that all gay men are after kids? My relative is probably one of the best babysitters I have ever had for my kids. I trust him with my kids and know that he would never even consider harming them. For my relative’s safety I did not inform this neighbor, who knows him, that this relative is gay. I didn’t know what she would do or say to him and I rarely spoke to her after that incident.
I’m not asking you to understand why men like other men or why women like other women. I just want you to realize that homosexuality has been around longer than you know. The only reason you are aware of it now is because there is more tolerance and awareness. I don’t pretend to understand all there is to know about it but I do know that they are people just like everyone else. We all have feelings and emotions. We all have opinions and I feel that everyone, regardless of color, race, sexual preference, political beliefs, etc., should be treated the same and accepted for who they are. If you don’t agree with me , well, that’s fine. You are entitled to your own opinion on the matter.
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Post CommentB Nelson
On October 25, 2008 at 9:32 am
Excellent article. I totally support gay marriage, after all marriage is about LOVE – I hate the argument that its about having kids – after all nobody protests if older or sterile people get married.
I hate the notion that gays are Pedophiles as well – how lame, but this is perpetuated by some people in order to get others to hate.
The Church is often big against homosexuality – but they often follow the Bible put together by one of the most notorious sexual deviants of all time – King James.
mdegenhardt
On October 25, 2008 at 2:38 pm
I feel you spoke your piece and you did so with tact and diplomacy. Gay or not, we as people just need to try and be a bit more understanding. Michael
Amit Goyal
On October 31, 2008 at 4:51 pm
“We don’t have any”, is the response you’ll with regard to homosexuals here in India..
It’s sad how we judge others just because of their sexual preferences.
Hats off on an extremely well written article!
steve
On November 7, 2008 at 12:21 am
No, there was no such thing as “adam or steve”
I think i go for creations and the bible. What the book say is so reasonable and so true that some people are against it because they know that the Bible is too true and doesn’t want to be corrected…
I am not saying i hate gay people. I never hate them. I like them all like brothers and sisters but it’s their action i don’t like I would like to know more about homosexuality and the reasons. Also don’t make it sound like church is strict. Everyting is strict. Why does people think gay is bad and why do you think some says it’s good?
A concerned, gay, biblical studying Christian
On November 25, 2008 at 12:27 pm
Mate, have you read the bible?
As a gay christian I’m asking you because the bible does indeed make a lot of sense, if we read it in context. What about the beattitudes, when Jesus told us “blessed are those who mourn”. He didn’t mean those who cry, he was referring to the Jewish mourners who would weep and pray for criminals being executed, despite the fact they didn’t even know them! Jesus was asking us to offer this unconditional love to all people, regardless of what we think of them. When we read the passage today we don’t think of it in this way and therefore its lost on us. True study of the bible is what’s needed to make an informed opinion. And not everything is strict. Jesus was only strict on one thing, “love the lord your god, and love your neighbour as yourself”. All else follows. Google “seven woes of matthew’s gospel” and you’ll see Jesus’ condemnation of the “strict”. Imagine what he would do if he were here today, seeing hate carried out in his name?
Cyrus
On December 28, 2008 at 11:01 pm
For goodness sake- It’s wrong- YOU know it- I know it- WE ALL KNOW IT_ WHY DO YOU THINK THIER IS SO MUCH DEBATE?
Glynis Smy
On December 29, 2008 at 12:22 pm
My cousin and his partner had a civil marriage in the UK, last year. The did it on their 25th anniversary, they have never hurt anyone with their relationship, never forced their opinion on anyone and have lasted years longer than any of my ’straight’ friends. If this isn’t love I don’t know what is. I think the idea of the bedroom activities is what upsets folk, not the fact that love cannot be denied between two people who have a natural,chemical attraction. Good article.
Lee Altman
On February 14, 2009 at 9:08 am
Great article, and spoken from my heart. We often judge and dismiss what we don’t know anything or enough about. And we are terrified.
I am proud to be a friend of a gay couple and neighbors to a few more. They are the most hard working, honest, generous people you will ever meet, I trust them with everything I have…not because they are gay, but because they are good people. No one has the right to ask me what goes on in my bedroom, so why should I feel the need to ask them?
And to all of you who watch x-rates movies with more that one girl and one guy and find it a turn-on and then bash gays- and I know you are out there- it’s just two-faced.
And does the Bible not say “do not judge, for you will be judged”?
Our friends are involved in a group that provides aid for gay people, mostly teenagers, who are being kicked put of their homes because they are gay. Some of those stories are heartbreaking and unbelievable, so sad.
Why is it not possible to accept one’s individuality without the need to dig into their business? In this day and age one should not be afraid to be able to be who and what they are without being discriminated against or harassed and judged.
Worry about your own shortcomings and sins, I bet it will keep you busy…
ladybaby
On May 9, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Good article. I have a gay son. I did not find out until he was 19. When he came out, he came to me first to tell me, and he said that if I had not accepted him, he had planed on committing suicide. This broke my heart. He is the best son a mother could ask for. I told him that ,”He had to be patient with me, because this was all new to me, and I needed time to understand it.” He confessed to me about all the misery and self hate he had, because people thought of gays as some monsters and inhuman creatures. I LOVE MY SON UNCONDITIONALLY! When people have a problem with him being gay – IT IS ‘THEIR’ PROBLEM. I am not ashamed or embarrassed of him. He was BORN that way. It was NOT something he chose. I wonder what #6 would do if his or her child told him/her that they were gay?????? Would they disown them?????