User Comments

1. 

   Skip Johnson

   On July 22, 2009 at 2:02 pm

   
   

   In your article, you cite the Ten Commandments, specifically the seventh commandment, which forbids adultery. Adultery comes from the root word “adulterate”, which is to alter a thing from its original form by combining it with anything else. Biblically-speaking, the seventh commandment forbids any deviation from God’s original design of “one woman with one man in marriage for life” that appears as normative in the original creation described in Genesis.

   As such, from the Bible’s perspective, there is no qualitative difference between cheating on one’s spouse, engaging in premaritial sex, engaging in a homosexual realtionship, having more than one wife at once, being involved in incest, or having sex with an animal. All alike are an adulteration of God’s original Eden design of one man with one woman in marriage for life. All alike are a “missing of the mark” which is one of the Bible’s definitions for sin. Another definition of sin is “lawlessness”, which would be living in a manner that is in violation of God’s Ten Commandment Law, as interpreted by the rest of the Bible and applied to practical life.

   For those interested in the list of forbidden sexual practices that would be included in the term “adultery” and explain its intent, Leviticus 18 is a good place to begin. It can be considered a detailing of what is involved in the prohibition against adultery as applied in real life settings. Homosexuality appears on this laundry list of condemned sexual practices, all of which would fall under the general category of “adultery”. Other things on the same forbidden sexual relationships list include sleeping with your Mom and doing it with the family dog. In the Bible, the practice of homosexuality is simply one more of the unfortunate ways human sexuality can be twisted from its original purpose and intent.

   As for avoiding adultery by simply sleeping around and never getting married, that’s really not an option. That particular form of “pre-maritial adultery” is called “fornication” in the Bible. Along with cheating on your spouse, or chosing a same sex partner, it is, Biblically-speaking, also a sin.

   Do people fall short in these areas–including politicians, Christians, and even pastors, who if they read their Bible’s carefully, should know better? Unfortunately, they do. Does that make their actions right, or prevent the flood of negative consequences that result? Of course not. The human race could avoid a huge amount of the damage we suffer and inflict on each other by simply adhering to God’s plan of “one man with one woman in marriage for life” for even a single generation. It would mop up a huge amount of misery that afflicts our race in short order.

   As it is now, entire nations of Africa are infected with lethal diseases, incurable venereal disease is common in our own society, single women attempting to raise children from unwed relationships often slip into poverty and their children into crime, and by any clear-eyed look at those involved in the gay lifestyle, it cuts many years of productive life from those who engage in it on the average. All these things directly result from thinking we know better than God what is good for us in the area of expressing ourselves sexually.

   Is it difficult to live as God suggests, and not have sex until you are married to a suitable partner of the opposite gender, then stay faithful to them so long as you both live? Yes. Is it possible to do so in spite of the difficulty? Again, yes. Are there huge and multiple benefits for doing so that affect not only those who chose this, but society as a whole? Undeniably so.

   As a practicing Christian, I have chosen to live my life in accordance with its teachings in the area of sexual expression, in the face of considerable internal and external pressures to do otherwise. Both my wife and I waited to have sex for the first time with anyone, including each other, on our honeymoon night. I was 23 years old, and she was 22 when we got married. We’d gone together for a year, during which time I very much wanted to sleep with her, but did not do so out of respect for God’s Commandments and instructions. That was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. But there were huge benefits. I’ve never wanted anyone since then as much as I wanted Judi. It anchored and imprinted my desires on her as the object of my sexual interest. We have been faithful to each other for nearly three decades. After more than a half a life time of being married, I love her like my next breath. She is absolutely unique in my life experience, and without a peer or rival. When we make love, God smiles.

   I didn’t alter my conscience to match my inclinations in these matters. I altered my behavior to match God’s requirements, with His help, and not without considerable struggle. How I have felt on many occasions was one thing. How I chose to behave when it came to having sex with someone at all before marriage, or bedding someone other than my wife after I was married, was another.

   That doesn’t mean that I am cut of a different piece of cloth than any the majority of my male counterparts, however. It also doesn’t mean that I would not have had sex with a thousand women by now if I had simply acted on my natural instincts, rather than choosing the “counter-intuitive” option of obeying God’s Word in how I conducted myself instead. I dated 30 girls before I got married, including going with one of them for five years. I found them all extremely attractive physically, or I never would have asked them out. I most certainly was in a position to become sexually involved on repeated occasions before I married.

   Since I got married, I’ve turned down the sexual advances of ten women and two men. To date, “Just say ‘No’ has worked quite well in this regard. I simply ignor an attempted seduction when I can. When the person is too persistent, I turn her/him down in a way that preserves as much as possible, her/his human dignity. There are plenty of good reasons to stay true to your spouse. There aren’t any reasons to be unkind to morally mixed up people willing to help you cheat on your spouse, however.

   One thing puzzles me: Where did the idea arise that because one finds oneself inclined to do a certain thing sexually it is God’s or the Universe’s permission to go ahead and do so? In the Bible, where such lawless inclinations arise, they are called “temptation” and are to be resisted, not indulged. Where weak humanity falls short, there is forgiveness, and a chance and responsibility to do differently in the future by God’s help. (See I Corninthains 6:5-11 for an account of many early Christians who had formerly been involved in the homosexual lifestyle among other harmful and addictive behaviors, but who had walked away from that practice.)

   A person is free to adopt or reject the Bible’s view of humanity and our relationship to God, of course. Including in the area of sexual expression. He has not only told us the good, but allowed us to choose or reject that good, and accept the consequenes for this life and the world to come. Knowing what the Bible actually says in this area is a necessary clarification before making such a choice can begin, however.

   I hope what I’ve written here can be of help in at least clarifying the issues as they are presented in the Bible. I have seven years of formal theological education, and have copied the Bible out by hand word by word to make sure I know exactly what it teaches. I’ve also chosen to live my life by what I have found within its pages. It doesn’t mean I have never looked on a woman other than my wife and wished to have sex with her, of course. I have the same basic instincts as the great majority of the rest of my sex in these matters. But I have done battle with my “natural inclinations” and have not acted on those impulses in order to obey God’s will as revealed in the Bible. As a result, I’ve enjoyed a satisfying marriage, never had to worry about transmitting a sexually transmitted disease, and enjoy the commendation of my own conscience. My feelings follow my choices in these matters.

   Mix anything else with gold, and you’ve got a lesser metal alloy. Change God’s orginal plan of “one man with one woman in marriage for life” and you’ve got something less, too. God gave us the best in the beginning. That will never be impoved on. Anything other, is less.

2. 

   poeticartifacts

   On July 30, 2009 at 11:26 am

   
   

   so i am assuming this comment is in disagreement with my article, but the long convoluted argument gets lost in a sea of information, which is impressive. also, i appreciate the matter-of-fact style and lack of personal attack and hate-mongering, this comment in my opinion is of a true christian. however, you do end up agreeing with me, albeit unintentional or implicit, in that hypocrisy is what my problem really is here. Even you state that adultery isn’t in degrees or containing ‘lesser’ forms of sin. Making the point that politicians consistently need to check themselves before throwing stones. And if you’re staunchly against gay marriage, you better be staunchly against adultery of the typical American definition, cheating on a spouse.

3. 

   AKID

   On August 16, 2009 at 2:29 am

   
   

   Seeing as how there is supposed to be separation from church and state, marriage laws should not follow how the bible says marriage should be anyway. Also same sex couples should have the same rights as other couples. I completely agree with this article as well as many others on the topic, becuase theres supposed to be equality and freedom.. ahem.. its what our country is supposed to be about.

   Skip Johnson makes a good point about how there are many ways to go against gods original idea of adam and eve, but not all married couples have to be religious, so all marriage should not be based those values.

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