Bi or Shy?
by Questioning bisexuality.
The other day a woman, who claimed to be bi-sexual, was arguing with me about my attitude. So I asked her, why she claims she is bisexual. She’s only had one encounter, (I can’t even elevate it to a relationship) with another woman.
“You’re not bi, you’re experimenting. And I’m not an experiment.”
I’ve noticed a lot of women claiming to be bi-sexual because they’ve just left an abusive man, or had too much to drink at a gay bar, or wanted to see what its like, and then elevate this encounter to the level of proving that they are Bi-sexual. They aren’t.
A lot of women to gain ’street credit’ have some encounter with another woman, which they use as proof of their bisexuality when they are straight women just looking for kicks.
With men it is the opposite. A gay man wants to appear to be straight so will have dozens of girlfriends, he may even marry one, might even have kids with her, and then go out either with the boys or on his own to a Gay Bar and get on the ‘down low’.
He’ll claim to be ‘a man’, whatever that is, who ‘loves women’ but only has ’sex with men’. Uh huh.
Other men will claim to be ‘bi’ because they can’t bring themselves to admit that they are homosexual.
As might be obvious to the reader, I’m not much into the ‘bi’ argument. I’m into the ‘born that way’ fact. I’m into a person knowing, even when small that she or he was attracted to a person of her or his own sex.
Due to the pressure of society a woman might feel she has to go out on dates with men, has to get married, maybe even has to have children. Some can’t lie that well, so avoid the entire dismal deception, and whether one wants to call it ‘coming out’ the fact is, many never were ‘in’ the closet. Many were always lesbians, always conscious of being attracted to women and feeling no need to hide it.
A man might go through the macho paces, but can’t fight his nature, and though he might maintain female sexual partners as a beard to fool others or himself, he’s gay.
If you think you’re bi, how many of your own sex have you dealt with compared to how many of the other sex?
If you need one hand for one and have to take off your shoes and borrow another pair of feet for the other, you can pretty much bet, you aren’t bi.
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Post CommentA. Fool
On September 6, 2009 at 1:56 pm
I posted something from a different vantage point some time ago. Your argument is quite persuasive.
L.E.Monist
On September 6, 2009 at 7:34 pm
I read it. I think we are saying the same thing.
TJ
On September 16, 2009 at 8:23 pm
Kinsey’s research shows that human beings’ sexual behavior is spread across a spectrum. It’s not a question of either/or. (Though things might be easier if they were!)
L.E.Monist
On October 1, 2009 at 10:32 pm
Depends on who one is attracted to…maybe it’s smell
Dove
On January 28, 2010 at 12:41 pm
I’m quite Bisexual, It’s a bit close minded to say you have to have equal encounters with both to be truly bisexual.
It’s like saying you have to date every race to be able to say you’re open to the idea.
Sometimes you just don’t end up with men or you don’t end up with women… the beauty of being Bisexual is that you’re not ruling anyone out based on what gender they are. you’re attracted by WHO they are.
L.E.Monist
On January 28, 2010 at 3:34 pm
I\’ve never met anyone who was truly bi…I\’ve met women who\’ve experimented, as I mention in the article, and also those who hide their nature…seem straight but are really not.
The challenge that ‘bi’ offers to the gay/lesbian community is that it is basically saying, ‘hey! you aren’t born that way! You
can change!’
So that one can be straight if they really want to be.
D
On June 14, 2010 at 6:09 am
“The challenge that ‘bi’ offers to the gay/lesbian community is that it is basically saying, ‘hey! you aren’t born that way! You
can change!’
So that one can be straight if they really want to be.”
I don’t think that the fact of bisexual people is challenging that at all. I think that what it is saying is some people are born completely attracted to one sex, others to both, other to the opposite, and others are fluid.
Anyway, doesn’t the idea of choice only carry any relevance if we throw christian/western sexual morality into the mix?
L.E.Monist
On June 14, 2010 at 7:01 pm
I like your point. That’s a very good issue. If one dispenses with Christian/Western Sexual morality, then it is pure choice without
consideration of penalty.
L.E.Monist
On June 14, 2010 at 7:05 pm
But also, I’ve noticed a large number of women who come out of an abusive relationship with a man, they could be mothers of six and were home coming queen. The relationship with the abusive man has so damaged them, that they run into a relationship with a woman, an emotional more than sexual, as a safe place to be.
I don’t want to discount the abused woman who seems to be ‘bi’ at the moment, but who may very well go back into a relationship with a man after she heals.