Can anyone be truly bisexual?

Probably, but this article isn’t about those people. There are obviously people who actually are gay, lesbian, and even bisexual, but there are also people who claim to be something that they are not for attention. This article is about the people, mostly women, who claim to be bisexual, but are either simply confused or who purposely use this sexual identity to gain an edge over other women for the attention of men.

There are several types of women who claim to be bisexual, but in all actuality, probably are not. The first type claims to be a lesbian at first, in an effort to garner male attention. Now, I know this may seem counterproductive, but it works. Men tend to want what they cannot have. A woman who would otherwise be completely unappealing to men suddenly becomes desirable once the man thinks that she is only interested in other females. She becomes a challenge, and so, the man works tirelessly to try to win her over. Being the arrogant creature that he is, he believes that the “lesbian” simply hasn’t met the right man yet, and knows that if she could just give him a chance, he could bring her back to the “home team.” Eventually, the woman will “fall” for the man, which was her plan all along. She will then “decide” that she is bisexual rather than a lesbian, when in reality she has probably never had a serious relationship with another woman in her life and any sexual experiences she has had with women were simply for show. Once the relationship falls apart (as all relationships that are based on lies inevitably do), the woman will commonly revert back to a “lesbian” sexual identity and start the whole process all over again.

Similar to this, there are the girls who start out by claiming to be bisexual, simply to seem more attractive to men. Usually these are also the girls who most men wouldn’t look twice at in any other situation. You will commonly find these girls at bars and clubs making out with their female friends, which of course, gets them a lot of attention from men. It’s no secret that girl-on-girl porn is one of the most popular types of porn for men, and some women try to take advantage of this. By claiming to be bisexual, and openly engaging in bisexual and lesbian activities in public, men will see these women as sexually open and willing to try just about anything. This makes these women desirable, but only for short term relationships, or for casual sex. This will end up hurting the women who do this in the long run, but they are generally so desperate for male attention that they don’t think about the long term.

Both of these types of women tend to have extremely low self-esteem. Aside from the women who claim to be lesbian or bisexual to find a male sexual partner, there are also teenage girls (and even some boys) who claim to be bisexual because they think that it’s cool and that they will become popular. By claiming to be bisexual, they appear unique. This is most commonly found in the “emo” and “goth” social circles in high school, and occasionally in college. Some of these kids grow out of it, whereas others move on to become one of the first two types I outlined in this article.

This kind of behavior is detrimental to both the LGBT and the straight communities. They hurt homosexuals, and actual bisexuals, by making sexual orientation seem like a choice or something that can be changed, and further harms actual bisexual individuals by making bisexuals as a group appear to be promiscuous. It also harms straight women by enforcing the idea that women are simply sexual objects. This also may cause straight men to have unrealistic sexual expectations about women, such as expecting their female partner to agree to activities involving another woman, which could cause serious problems within a relationship.

Now, there are also some women who are simply confused and think that they are bi, when in fact they are most likely actually straight. There are a couple of reasons for this. First, women are overly sexualized in the media. Girls grow up bombarded by sexual images of women in advertisements, movies, and everywhere else, and eventually start to subconsciously think of women as sexual objects.

There are also women who confuse the need to connect and be close to other human beings as sexual desire. Because women are less visually oriented than men, and because women tend to view sex emotionally more than physically, they may confuse their desire to be emotionally connected with other females for sexual desire and intimacy. Since men are taught to hide their emotions, some women may not be able to form emotional connections with men (depending on what type of men they normally go for), and because they do tend to form these emotional connections with other women, they may mistake this for a sexual desire for other women. Since women tend to rely more on emotions that visuals for sexual arousal, they may think that they are also attracted to other females sexually, when in reality it is only the emotional closeness (that they weren’t able to get from men) that they crave. They know that they are still physically attracted to men, but they also mistake the emotional connection with other females for attraction. 

There are studies out there claiming that bisexuality is normal, since many other mammals engage in bisexual behavior. Yes, this is true, but their motives aren’t necessarily based on sexual attraction. Male on male behavior is generally motivated by aggression and dominance rather than sex, similar to rape in the human world (against both genders). Female on female behavior in non-human animals is typically based on forming social connections for survival, which may be similar to the tendency for women to confuse the need for emotional closeness with sexual desire, but this behavior is completely unnecessary in human societies. 

Sexual orientation is about which gender someone is sexually attracted to, not behavior that has motives other than actual sexual desire. Women need to stop using sexuality as a means to get attention, and men need to stop focusing so much on sex when looking for a partner. Sex should be between two people who are both physically attracted to each other AND who share an emotional connection.