Did I Choose to be Gay?

One of the most controversial topics in our time is the question of whether or not homosexuality is a choice. I am writing this article because I am a gay man and I would like to explain how this makes me feel and how I can hope to prove that being gay is not a choice.

At this point, I am sure many of you have stopped reading because you are either homophobic or are severely close-minded and not even capable of hearing another point of view. I came out about 3 months ago to my best friends and then a month after; I came out to my family and everyone else. I am a 21 year old college student attending Ohio University. The hardest thing about coming out was accepting it to myself. Once I accepted it to myself, it was much easier than I had ever imagined to tell my close friends and family.

The first point I would like to make to prove I was born this way is that after I told my mom, she told me that she had always thought I was since the age of 2. When I was younger, she said I seemed a little different than my older brother and it seemed harder for me to fit in. I also spent more time with my younger sister than I did with my brother which seemed weird to my mom, too

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Another point that I would like to make is that I am not at all sexually attracted to women. Yes, I find women attractive, but that’s because women are very pretty; they wear makeup and typically groom themselves better than most men. Just because I find women attractive doesn’t mean I want to engage in sexual relations with them. Just as I can tell if a woman is attractive, men can also tell when other men are attractive but they are “afraid” to admit that because they are insecure and fear it will make them “gay.” This is frustrating because it’s just a stupid myth that, I hate to say it, many religious people have.

I have never been sexually attracted to women, but I always pretended to be so I would fit in society better. Obviously, I was not strong enough at the age of 13 to tell people that I was gay. I was already getting made fun of as it was because there was much speculation so I only thought it would get worse. Everyone that has known me for my whole life knows that I did not choose to be gay because they have always thought that I was and they said it wasn’t a huge surprise. When I sit there and tell people that I did not choose this and they still don’t believe me, it makes me angry because how can they not believe me.

What benefits are there to being gay? No offense to any gay person, but I am sure they all will agree with me when I say that there are no benefits to being gay. I cannot get married, I cannot have kids, and I am shunned by many people. I am tired of people using their religious beliefs to justify their violent and damaging ways. I used to be religious and I used to pray to god all the time when I was younger, asking him to not let me be gay and to turn me straight. At that time in my life, I still thought that I could convince myself that I was straight and just lie to myself my entire life.

For everyone that knows that being gay is not a choice, thank you because even though it’s hard to understand to people of the same-sex being together, it is a reality. For all those who are religious and think it’s a choice, you should know you can’t pray away the gay, trust me, I’ve tried. Quit hiding behind the bible and be a fellow human being and accept that there are some things that are wrong in the bible (the earth being flat, men being better than women, etch). If you think it’s a choice, ask yourself, “when did I choose to be straight?” because if I chose to be gay, than that means every straight person had to choose to be straight because I know that I would have chosen to be straight if I could.