Gay and Lesbian Partnerships

The issue of whether gays and lesbians should be allowed civil unions but not marriage is interesting. 

Marriage has connotations of family, property, inheritance, children, religion and a special relationship.

The problem for many long term homosexual couples is that they also feel the need for some of those things. They behave like a family, they own property, sometimes have children, might be religious and have a special relationship with each other.

Because for so many years homosexuality was outlawed, the issues of property and who has rights on things like funerals on the death of one of the partners have been sidelined.  For the general public these points are not relevant.  There might even be a distaste in having to consider the unfairness of the current laws. 

However, for many homosexual couples who have lived together faithfully for twenty and thirty years, their lives are as entwined as any heterosexual couple.  Being treated as individuals with no legal rights to leave property or goods and whose wishes, on death, are overridden by relatives, who perhaps disapprove of their relationship, causes pain.  It denies the love these two people have shared and shown each other over the years. 

Society is growing to recognize that gay and lesbian individuals are productive members of the community; that homosexuality has always been around and will continue to be present.  Only now it is being acknowledged to some extent.  While there is still a strong homophobic current in the general population, this is no reason to deny gays and lesbians certain legal rights. 

Perhaps now is the time to separate marriage and civil unions.  Marriage is based on religious requirements and the need to support the mother and children.  Yet many heterosexual couples are choosing to ignore it and just live together or are marrying in a Registry Office  -  which is basically a civil union. In many European countries, there are separate ceremonies for the civil and the religious rites.

There is no reason why a legal agreement could not also be drawn up for gay and lesbian couples which gives them some of the financial security and the opportunity to leave their property in similar ways to heterosexual couples.  

When a couple have lived together for years, like any working relationship they have built up equity to which both have contributed.  It seems unfair to deny them the rights that a civil union would bestow.  Many gay and lesbian couples consider themselves wedded. It gives them a sense of belonging to their partner. Belonging is something all of us desire.