There is a huge stipulation out there that bisexuals, especially bisexual men, aren’t really bisexual. Sex and the City captures this sentiment best by stating that “bisexuality is just a layover on the way to gaytown.” For many fellas, I would have to agree. For some reason it is easier to say that you’re bi instead of all-out gay, because at least you’re still somewhat normal, at least you are still considering the opposite sex. I don’t knock that strategy. I mean, utilize every resource you’ve got to get yourself out of that closet. There are way too many people out there who choose to stay in the closet and be miserable, which makes a lot of the people outside the closet miserable, too.

Unfortunately, bi guys are the ones who receive the brunt of the doubt/ridicule as opposed to bi girls. A girl can claim her bisexuality, wear it on a t-shirt, and be respected by the majority of the society. Girls can thank the hetero-male dominated world for that one. Straight guys think it’s hot when two girls go at it, and they thank their lucky stars if they can lay claim to a bisexual. Even straight women hold bi girls on some sort of pedestal, questioning their own sexuality, and wondering if widening their narrow views on sex would help their luck in the meat market. (At this point I’m going to interject that too many girls, even dirty girls, these days are making out with their same gender simply because it has turned into such the cultural phenomenon thanks to Girls Gone Wild.) Guys, on the other hand, are rarely ever applauded for random acts of bisexual behavior.

Bisexual. Really.

As for myself, I am perhaps a rare breed of bisexual. In fact, to call me bisexual isn’t one hundred percent accurate. I enjoy both genders, but having sex with either of them does not give me great satisfaction. Sure it is fun to romp around, but sex gets boring. The same ol’ “in-out-in-out-in-swivel-in further-out” is highly redundant to me. No, it is not because I have yet to have sex with someone that truly knows what he is doing (I have yet to actually hold intercourse with a girl due to my valuing the whole hetero sex after marriage thing… will elaborate later).

In fact, I went through a very thorough slut period during the summer of 2004. Each encounter I had was very different. I’ve had the “one night stand,“ the “sexually charged three week relationship,” the “older guy who taught me everything he knew about sex during the six or seven visits I made over to his house.” Each time left me educated, but never did I feel like any of it was worth it. The whole slut period was a chance for me to see what all the hubbub was about, and I ended up realizing there wasn’t much hubbub there to begin with.

Relationship > Sexuality

I am all about the relationship. To get to know someone inside and out gives me such the boner that sex in general has yet to achieve. Trusting someone, learning about someone’s faults, hopes, dreams, and realities, and still wanting to learn more. Being there for someone in ways that no one else could even dare to try. Loving that one person beyond all of his or her physical impurities, quirks, and bad habits. All of that, and having the person feeling the exact same way about me.

Of course, this is the ideal that most everyone strives for, but with the inclusion of sex. I could go my entire life in a relationship like that without having any sort of intercourse and being fully content. I am not talking about never seeing my partner in the buff, or vice versa. We would definitely have a lot of cuddling, and a good amount of exploring, and a more-than-substantial amount of kissing, it’s just I wouldn’t necessarily require an orgasm. If the partner wanted an orgasm, I’d definitely be there for her or him as best I could. The bottom line is that sex, to me, is entirely unnecessary.

Sex is…

Sex, in its truest form, is incredibly stupid. It is entirely animal. Anybody can do it, and most people do. Sex is also not too difficult to master. Even though I don’t care for it, I’m actually quite good (just ask any one of the __ guys I’ve been with). What is interesting to me is how stupid one becomes when having sex – at least as far as guys are concerned. When working towards a climax, guys tend to get this hollow look in their eyes as if the main part of their brain has suddenly turned off. Grunts, sweat, and forceful action takes the place of common decency.

So there I am, caught inside a tumbleweed of friction with nothing to do but to wait until it’s over. Most of the time I’m cracking jokes about the situation, or laughing to myself about something that has flashed through my mind, or I’m trying to make conversation with the guy. If the guy is able to provide decent conversation, or even laugh at my jokes, only then do I find that I’m enjoying the goings-on that we are partaking in. Otherwise, just turn on the TV and do whatever it is you need to do. Let me know when you’re finished.

Call me bisexual without the sexual. Or, if it’s easier, label me platonic. The only unfortunate thing about describing me sans a sexual appetite is that I’m still inherently human. People are created to want to have sex. Especially guys. My little testiculars turn blue if not emptied at least once a month. Then, in that case, it’s a simple flick of the wrist, and I’m back to doing whatever it was I was doing before.

I have found it hard for people to accept anyone who doesn’t enjoy sex. “Oh, they just don’t know any better” is the most popular response. Fortunately for me, I do know better. I realized, through the aid of a therapist, that it’s okay to be platonic. Leonardo deVinci was said to be platonic, and if it’s good enough for him, it surely must be good enough for me. So where does my liking both genders come into play?

Liking Both Genders

Right about now, actually. Both genders offer something entirely different. Men provide a sense of strength, familiarity, understanding on a parallel level. Men’s bodies are also very angular in structure, which is a visual sign of strength. Even the way men think provides a certain sense of joy to me. Women, on the other hand, provide comfort, nurturing, support, the missing link to everything I’ve already got. Women’s bodies are very curvy in structure, which provide a visual sense of comfort and openness (similar to what one feels when looking at a soft, cushiony bed). The way women think can be tiresome (as I suppose can be true with guys), but it is definitely very energetic. There have been countless books, movies, seminars, and comedic monologues that chronicle the differences between men and women. They all back up what I’ve been trying to convey in this paragraph.

My Truth

You are probably yet to be convinced that I’m not just saying all this stuff in an effort to feel that my truly gay self is properly masked. Why, I’ve had tons of sex with guys, and having sex with guys makes one gay. Well, I’ve definitely made out with a bunch of girls, and I’ve held way more relationships with girls than the amount of sex I’ve had with guys. I’ve seen women naked in real life, held their naked boobies in my hands, and my fingers are no stranger to the female puss-puss. On top of all of that, I’ve definitely bonerfied from being with a girl. For some reason, though, I tend to put women on a pedestal.

I regard them quite highly, and would want my first straight sexual encounter to be shared with the woman I’d plan on spending the rest of my life with. I feel like I’d owe her that much since the whole 100% virginity thing flew out the window quite a while ago. I don’t look at women as sexual objects, so I rarely ever lean over to my buddies telling them to ogle over any girl passing by. Actually, I get annoyed with some of my male friends who do nothing but talk about how horny the girls standing around are making them feel. Women are the more respected gender in my book.

Now lately I’ve been seeking to have relationships with guys more than I’ve been seeking to have them with girls. That’s simply because I’ve had relationships with girls so so soooo many times that it’s not new any more. It is also tremendously easy to find a girl that I could have a relationship with. Guys are different. It is harder to find a guy, for one thing, that would even want to have a relationship with another guy. Once I do find a guy who’s capable of having a relationship, it then is more of a challenge to actually hold and develop that relationship into something semi-lasting. I have been on the prowl for a meaningful male-to-male relationship for over a year now, and I’ve yet to find something that works. What I have found, on the other hand, was at least three to five girls who could barely hold themselves back from stabbing me with a three month dating contract.

There. I believe I have said my peace. In all honesty, I don’t really care about what people think of me. When I’m with straight people, they prefer to consider me as straight. When I’m with gay people, they prefer to consider me as gay. Potato, patato. All that matters is that whomever I am with, male or female, I am one hundred percent committed.