How to be an Ally

What is an Ally?

An ally is an individual who speaks out and stands up for a person or group that is targeted and discriminated against. An ally works to end oppression by supporting and advocating. Any person, LGBT or non-LGBT, can be an ally to LGBT students.

Why Be an Ally?

All students are at risk of being bullied, harassed or called names at school, but LGBT students face particularly hostile school environments. Your visible support for these students can make a real difference in ways that will benefit the whole school. Anti-LGBT behavior creates a hostile environment and an uncomfortable and unsafe space for everyone. Homophobia can also be used to punish, silence and, on occasion, target people who are perceived as LGBT, but are not. In order to protect all students and allow them the freedom to reach their full potential, we must put an end to anti-LGBT bias and behavior in schools. In addition to supporting individual LGBT students, allies challenge anti-LGBT behavior and work proactively to ensure safer, more inclusive schools for all students.

Talking the Talk

One simple yet important way to be an ally is to use LGBT-related terminology accurately and respectfully. The best way to ensure that you are using the proper terminology when referring to an individual is to find out the terminology they themselves prefer.

Being Visible

One of the most important parts of being an ally to LGBT students is making yourself known as an ally. Making yourself visible can be as simple as displaying a sticker, or it can be as involved as demonstrating and modeling supportive behaviors.

Walking the Walk

Sometimes your actions can speak louder than any button or poster. Here are simple actions you can take that will let staff and students know you are an ally.

~Make no assumptions. Don’t assume that everyone is heterosexual or fits into your idea of gender roles – be open to the variety of identities and expressions.

~Use inclusive language. Always make sure the language you are using is inclusive of all people.

~Respond to anti-LGBT behavior. It sends a strong message that anti-LGBT behavior is not acceptable to you and not allowed around you.

Intervening in Name-calling, Bullying and Harassment

Concentrate on stopping negative behaviors the moment they occur. Sometimes it’s a simple response to hearing a derogatory term like “Don’t talk like that around me.” Make sure that everyone can hear you. Never miss the opportunity to interrupt the behavior. Remember: no action is an action.

Responding to Unintentional Anti-LGBT Language

Almost all LGBT students regularly hear the word “gay” used in a negative way at school. Especially because expressions like “that’s so gay” are so pervasive, it is critical that an ally treat this like all other types of anti-LGBT language and address it. Not all students may understand why this language is offensive, so you may need to inform them that this is anti-LGBT language. When challenged on using this type of language, a common response from students and adults is that they did not intend “gay” to mean homosexual. They may say that it’s just an expression and they don’t mean any harm by it. In fact, just because they meant no harm does not mean they caused no harm.

Using the information and strategies in this guide, you can begin enlisting others in a common effort to transform your school into a safe space for all students regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression.

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