How to Deal with Homophobia

Most people are oblivious.  They are thinking about themselves and their own problems. You and yours are not even on the agenda unless you shove into their consciousness.

There are those who are anti because of Biblical injunctions or because a lesbian or homosexual actually did something to them. The majority are going along with the herd.

They are going along with the herd because Gay society has pushed a point that they wouldn’t think about unless it was front page.

It’s like asking someone to comment on the British Cricket Team.  If they don’t know anything about the team they’ll adopt the views of whomever is beside them.  If that person knows very little, they’ll agree with that.

Asking straights about lesbian or homosexual issues is pretty much the same thing. The majority knows nothing, and the guy standing beside them is a fundie.

The first thing one has to do is break off from the crowd.  No one wants to deal with one thousand radical lesbian feminists, (not even other radical lesbian feminists).

Just be you.

You, without any doctrine or dogma or requiring involvement in your issues from the homophobe.

Who you sleep with is your business. Keep it your business. Don’t try to shock.

Many times a gay couple will see a straight and begin a passionate interlude which would get them slapped down in a gay bar.  Their eyes are on the straight, because they want to annoy him.  They are not kissing each other, they are performing an act to annoy the straight.

If there is no reason for public displays of affection, then why? 

A straight doesn’t see a gay and grab his wife and begin fondling her while looking at you, so why are you doing it?

Secondly, there has to be more to you than your sexuality.  A lot of actors are ‘Gay’ actors.  It is as if their talent is secondary to their lable.  Why can’t Darryl be an actor who happens to be gay? Why is he a Gay Actor?

Too many Lesbians/Gays seem to have no other interest than being Gay. Not in cooking, not in sports, not in world affairs, not in television programs, the start and finish of every conversation is gay.

As the homophobe doesn’t want to hear about that, ever, (and other gays and lesbians neither) why babble?

Talk about a topic which isn’t charged.  Talk about something that is interesting for anyone, regardless of sexual persuasion. 

Being involved in animal rights, or the Red Cross, or another charity which has nothing to do with sexuality is one way of widening your circle and gaining acceptance as YOU.

No matter what you are, racially, religiously, ethnically, culturally, and sexually, you are you.  You can use your difference to create barriers or move from the generic to the personal.

Talking to you is not talking to the Lesbian Nation, it is talking to you.

Once people talk to you and accept you, they automatically accept what you are without having to say it.  Once they realise you have a right to be alive they might very well extrapolate that others like you also have that
right.

Without noise, television cameras, demonstrations, you can move a person from being a homophobe to being at least indifferent.  The more people who are brought to indifference the less people who will oppose whatever your issue is.

As I said in the first sentence, most people are oblivious.  They don’t know if you are or aren’t, and they don’t care.  As long as you do nothing to alert them to make it a situation in which they have to take a side, there are no sides.