Keys to Coming Out

Has anyone ever wondered how they can muster up the courage to come out to friends and family?  I definitely can say I know how that feels.  Coming out can be a very scary feeling, especially for those that don’t have a support system during this life altering experience.  The fear of not being accepted, being shunned by the ones you love, and feeling like there’s no one to lean on can be very dramatic and overwhelming to deal with.  These fears are present in adult gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people, but it seems as though the younger generation are really struggling with coming to terms with their sexuality and being accepted by their loved ones.  I’m going to share my experience with coming out, and provide some insight that can try to make the coming out process a little easier for those are really struggling with their sexuality.

1. Come out to people you feel the most comfortable with, then gradually work your way to other loved ones.  I know coming out is very difficult, but I think it’s definitely easier to come out to people you’re close to.  For example, I think coming out to close friends can be a good start, especially if you’ve been friends for years. If you feel comfortable enough to share a part of who you are with your friend, I’d say go for it! However, in some cases, your friends may not accept who you are, and if that happens, then that’s a sign that those weren’t your real, true friends to begin with. One of the first people I came out to was a really close friend in college, and she accepted me. It turned out that she was gay too, so it all worked out! Realistically speaking, some people aren’t so lucky because they chose to be who they are, that’s why it’s so important to have some kind of support system, even if it’s a close friend, or a family member. 
2. Come out on your own terms.  I feel that people should come out when they’re ready to come out.  I’m sure many of you have heard your friends or family trying to get you to come out, but I honestly think people should come out on their own terms and not be pressured into it.  I know it’s easier said then done, but it’s definitely possible. I’ve known for many years that I was lesbian but didn’t come out to my family until recently. I waited so long because I was scared I wouldn’t be accepted, I would get kicked out, I feared they would hate me, pretty much what all gay people fear when coming out. I decided to come out because I reached a point in my life where I didn’t care what others thought of me, and if they didn’t accept me, I wasn’t going to let that stop me from being who I am. Coming out can allow you to really see how open or closed minded people can be, and sometimes their reactions can either be what you expected or different.  Either way, I think people should really know who they are and really think things through before taking that huge step towards coming out.
3. Be who you are and try not to let others get the best of you.  I know that can be very difficult to do, but people shouldn’t always care what others think.  Even if you were straight, there’s always going to be that one person who has something negative to say and will still try to bring you down.  My mom always says that you can’t please everyone, and I think that is very true.  I  think people should embrace who they are rather than try to hide it, because hiding a part of you doesn’t really allow others to see the real you.  I know it depends on the person you’re allowing yourself to be open to, which is completely understandable.  Embracing who you are could present positive results from others, because you’re allowing them to know more about who you are inside, and not just the exterior.

Coming out is a very dramatic, life altering experience, and I hope I’ve provided some insight to those that are struggling with their sexuality and trying to share a part of who they are with others.  Coming out is the hardest part, but once it’s done, it could be a huge weight lifted off your shoulders.  It’s really important sharing that part of you with at least one person, whether it’s your best friend, your mom, or even a gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender center for those that don’t have that loving support.  Just be yourself, and always try to have at least one close person in your life you can lean on.  Believe me it helps!