The Myth of Bisexuality
by If gender is fixed at birth, if one is born homosexual or heterosexual, if one isn’t “turned” into a homosexual because mommy dressed him in pink sleepers or chose to be a lesbian to escape abusive relationships with men, then from whence does bisexuality spring?
Bisexuality implies choice; implies that gender is not fixed but flexible. One can engage in sexual relations with John or Jane; the choice up to the ego.
Clearly, this would fly in the face of current hypothes is concerning gender orientation. This would imply that far from being “wired” into our brains, sexuality is a choice.
Is it a choice? Is there such a thing as true bisexuality? Or is it a “beard” to deny homosexuality?
Many homosexuals speak of the early years when they claimed to be “bi” as the pressure of society (actual and inferred)and their own ambivalence (or need to conform), put them into relations with the opposite sex.
Their interest in same sex coupling was “always” there, but they resisted the temptation, because they wanted to be “straight”.
At some point they participated in homosexual relations,ran back to the “safety” of heterosexuality, until such time they could accept the fact that they were homosexuals.
This would confirm the postulate that gender preference is fixed and that attempts to “redirect” are doomed to failure.
If there are mature bisexuals, then the entire comprehension of “fixed” sexuality would be disproved.
Attempts to “change” a person from one preference to another would be possible; the ideas of “emotional woundedness”currently in vogue, and the citing of homosexuality as a symptom of this damage would have a solid basis.
One can not, (no pun intended) have it both ways. If sexuality is fixed, then one is either/or. If sexuality is not fixed then homosexuality is a choice.
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Post CommentDan Davis
On March 15, 2008 at 1:12 pm
This is going to upset the apple cart. I expect a few hundred
attacks. Good talking points.
Andy-N
On March 17, 2008 at 4:19 am
I have made this argument also so I agree obviously with your reasoning.
It is interesting also that in many studies many people who consider themselves homosexual, say they have experienced back and forth times in their “sexual life.”
The “I was born that way” story is a joke.
On a side sad note. Most studies actually suggest child abuse and/or sexual molestation to be an overwhelming link to perversions of sexuality.
a fool
On March 17, 2008 at 11:00 am
Dr. Spitzer, who was instrumental in 1971 in having
homosexuality delisted as a psychological problem, recanted
in 2000.
He had seen more homosexual patients during the years of
‘acceptance’ and had come to coin the term, ‘emotional woundedness’ and see homosexuality as a ’symptom’.
Bisexuals due more to destroy the homosexual ‘creed’ if
you will than the most homophobic. For once there is
the ability for one to chose, so ends ‘born that way’.
Sexuality is not fixed, it is flexible. And this of course,
explains why men can rape men in prison.
Anonymous
On April 22, 2008 at 3:46 pm
umm, yes you can be bisexual… you can have feelings for both sexes just the same… wtf
Flamingo
On April 25, 2008 at 4:15 am
It’s almost a catch 22. On one hand bi sexuality discredits homosexuality and reduces it something that is chosen, and therefore can be un-chosen. On the other hand if bisexuals are ‘born’ with an instinct to love both sexes finding neither repulsive, than it does not affect homosexuality at all.
a fool
On April 29, 2008 at 7:55 pm
It is my contention that ‘bi-sexuality’ is the inability
for one to accept that they are homosexual, as if by
having sex with one of the opposite sex means that they
are straight.
As the current ‘theories’ of sexuality suggest that
one is ‘born’ not ‘made’ homosexual, (yes this is
widely disputed) bisexuality would add another question
to the rickety equasion.
What I found so remarkable on two separate Ophra programs
was the female who had been a lesbian, decided she was
male, had her breasts remored, took testosterone, and
was living as a man, and went to a gay bar and engaged
in sex with homosexuals.
The other was this ‘transgender’ who had been a Hawaiian
beauty queen, became a lesbian, then took testosterone,
married a woman, then became pregnant.
This is the ‘man who is pregnant’ individual.
So this just compounds the issue even further.
Previously transsexuals would eschew the sex they
were born and claim they were in the ‘wrong’ body
and once the operation was complete, would live
their lives as ‘full members’ of that other sex,
so that the operation would have been complete,
the male removing all forms of his sexuality, the
born female having all of her ‘plumbing’ removed.
This back and forth brings the entire contemplation
of sexuality back to the dissection table, for
everyone can not be right.
bi'N'proud
On May 25, 2008 at 4:05 pm
i approve that every human was born homosexual as Freud used to say.. but not every human wants to have a homosexual experiance..
Those who never try homosexuality are called straight people,but that doesnt mean they are normal.
Those who try homosexuality and like the experiance are called bisexual people,but this doesnt mean they are “not normal” or “weirdoes”..
a fool
On May 25, 2008 at 5:54 pm
My question is that bisexuality would fly in the face of
the current ‘philosophy.’
If one is ‘born’ homosexual or heterosexual, then to be
‘bixexual’ would toss those theories through the window
and claim it is ‘choice’.
This would then make any search for the ‘gay’ gene, or
the ‘nurture/nature’ debate pointless.
This tenant of Freud has been discarded, as many people
esp. homosexuals, will often announce; “I did not chose
to be this way.”
Homosexuals also aver that persons who claim to be ‘bi’
have not as yet fully ‘come out’.
If there is a ‘biological’ basis for sexuality,
obviously there is some kind of ‘on/off’ switch.
If there is not a biological basis…?
The debate must continue.
Eric
On September 4, 2008 at 11:56 pm
I think you’re missing something here, though. It’s understandably odd to say a person was born gay, as people are not born straight or gay, or bisexual or any of the above. We’re born children, with extremely little to no sexual inclinations one way or the other, straight or gay. It makes more sense that a person would develop slowly into their inevitable orientation. You’re looking for a quick, easy answer, but life is rarely that simple. There’s no easy answer here.
a fool
On September 6, 2008 at 3:58 pm
I am not coming down on either side, I’m trying to
explore both hypothesis; if it is hardwired or if
it is choice.
I think you are right, Eric, but there are others who
would dispute the point.
There are no easy answers.
So far there is no ‘gay gene’ so far there is no
evidence of ‘hard wiring’, hence choice seems to
be the ‘correct’ assumption.
However, if one is bisexual, would that mean they
have made no choice…’yet?’….
So it’s a very open topic…
The Nerd
On November 7, 2008 at 11:55 am
I find this rather amusing, as though people can only be “born” gay or straight. My entire life I have felt attracted to people of any gender, and have felt that my mind is somewhere in between masculine and feminine. Bisexuality in no way “disproves” the biological basis of sexual orientation, and in fact may help support it.
a fool
On November 7, 2008 at 4:27 pm
The Nerd….I find it not amusing but intriguing to explore
sexuality; for your existence tends to disturb the \’official\’
positions. I don\’t know the answers, I like asking the questions.
Gregster
On November 3, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Just discovered this post, but IMO…
If sexuality is predetermined, then if you can be born to like the opposite sex, or born to like the same sex, then you can surely also be born to like both. While chromosomes determine gender (XX = Female, XY=Male) and present an either/or scenario, a gene can have multiple outcomes: We aren’t limited to 2 eye colours, hair colours etc, so why would sexuality be an either/or scenario rather than genetic.
If sexuality is not predetermined, then if your upbringing nurtured/conditioned you into attraction to the same sex or into attraction to the opposite sex, then it can also surely nurture you into attraction to both.
Either nature or nurture could be the case, or a combination of both, but neither option precludes bisexuality.
In response to one of the other posts above… some people who admit to being bisexual are gay but not yet prepared to admit it (to themselves or to others). Others are essentially straight, but have tried and not regretted, so don’t deny it. Others are genuinely attracted to both men and women physically. To others, the physical is meaningless – they are attracted to the mind first and then they accept the person whether the same or different sex.
A. Fool
On November 3, 2009 at 2:58 pm
I pose the question because of the conflicting evidence. Those who talk nature those who talk nurture, but neither explains the bisexual.
The question can’t be easily answered. Yes, we can put a large number of bis into the category of gay but not ready to admit. And then there are those who just experiment, which can be removed from the statistic.
The question would fall on the adult person who has had; for example, X serious relationships with same sex, X serious relationships with other sex.
Too often one find the serious relationships are either hetero or homo; which would suggest the person is either gay or straight; while the frivolous relationships are with the other;
prowd2bbi
On March 22, 2010 at 3:50 pm
This is stupid. If you can like two diffrent things in life, why can`t sexuality be the same. Why is it so hard to believe that someone honestly likes both men and women. Sexuality is fixed, but that doesn`t mean people can`t be attracted to both genders. I should know, I always was attracted to both genders, and I don`t just decide that for now I`m into women and later I`ll like guys, I`m always attracted to both. If you don`t believe in bisexuality then you might as well believe that a gay guy can only be a bottom or a top.
A. Fool
On March 22, 2010 at 3:55 pm
Then sexuality is not ‘fixed’. That’s the point. Either it is fixed at birth or it isn’t.
The ‘born that way’ argument falls apart in the face of bisexuality.
A. Fool
On March 22, 2010 at 3:57 pm
I am not coming down on either ’side’ I’m posing the arguments
Curser656
On May 11, 2010 at 3:43 pm
Bisexuality does not exist at all and this is a fact, you will never in your lifetime have the exact same feelings for each gender. Only heterosexuality and Homosexuality exist, and it is true, if you say you are bi, you’re just running away from the truth of your homosexuality.
A. Fool
On May 11, 2010 at 5:40 pm
Curser; that is what many many homosexuals adver; that saying you’re ‘bi’ means you are afraid to admit you are homosexual.
I ask the question due to the various discussions as to whether gender is fixed at birth, whether there is an intellectual/genetic bias for one sex or the other; which would confirm the ‘born that way’ statements.
Bisexuality suggests that gender preference is a preference; not that you are allergic to peanuts, you just don’t like them…
JB Jhamin
On October 19, 2010 at 4:59 am
Uhm…I’m a mature bisexual (in the context of this topic anyway) and no, I’m not confused or in denial… and neither are the 100’s of bisexuals I have met. I’m sorry, but either you’re stupid or live in a vacuum.
Modern psychology considers gender preference as a spectrum ranging from pure homo to pure hetro with the majority of people in between. This preference is not a choice, but acting on the preference certainly is.
Now the kicker: I prefer a womens body and beauty and a mans gentials. If it was possible, I would be that way, and so would my partners. I’m still attracted to both men and women, but that is my ideal and there are many like me.
So where does all the fit into these stupid black and white opinions? It doesn’t. Personally, I find that black and white arguments are generally used to support one form of denial or another. So as they say in Sweden…suck on that piece of candy!
A. Fool
On October 19, 2010 at 12:43 pm
Open Debate is never stupid. It is a topic worthy of discussion. Jhmin, I appreciate your contribution. What you are saying, again, using the term ’spectrum’ and offering your personal information, is that it is a preference.
The ‘I can’t help it’, ‘I was born that way’, ‘Do you think I’d chose to be this way’, might be more of a denial than the person in the closet.