Tips to Deal with a Homosexual Child

What would you do if one day your child comes out of the blue and confesses something that sends your red flag flying? It may be something you’ve long suspected, or it may come like a bolt out of the blue. In any case, when a child comes out to a parent, announces that he or she is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, the future of this discussion is almost always filled with tension, fraught with potential for anger and loads of emotions.

But the wise thing to do is to carefully handle the situation.  Homosexuality isn’t a choice, a preference, or a ‘lifestyle’. It describes a sexual orientation and isn’t indicative of some deviant trait, vulnerability to disease, preoccupation with sex, or predilection toward some antisocial behavior. You cannot change or reverse what has happened. Here are a few tips to help you emerge stronger from this situation and also get even closer to your child than before.

1. First and foremost understand that child himself/herself has been through enough agony to muster the courage to approach you. Though it may prove difficult to adjust to the fact that your child is homosexual, remember, he/she is still your child. It is not a bad thing or a defect. They need you to listen and hear them out.

2. Put yourself in their shoes. Don’t be judgmental or insulting. They would be really relieved if you could simply hug them and tell them how much you still loved them.

3. Acknowledge their courage and determination to share their news with you and tell them you are proud of them and the decisions.

4. Avoid the attitude of tolerance which may indicate a vague sense of arrogant dismissal. The need for the hour is acceptance and reassurance.

5. Treat them like an adult and respect their decision. Don’t doubt their ability to decide.

6. Don’t blame yourself or others. It’s no one’s fault. Instead of mourning or regretting, celebrate the evidence of diversity. Think positively. After all they are genuinely telling you they are capable of love which is the most beautiful of all human traits. Congratulate yourselves that have brought them up well.

Perhaps this is the best lesson you can take from this event. You’ve taught them well; you’ve taught them to love. Acceptance of this truth makes life easier and the world a better place for you and for your child.