When Being Gay is Your Deepest Secret

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It may not be the best decision for everyone to “come out” and be “openly gay.” Their are those that have a hard time accepting others decision of “keeping it quiet.” Why is this? Some people feel that “more GAY known in numbers” helps stand up for “more GAY causes.” I do agree that no matter what the cause is, say for women’s rights, or whatever the injustice, power in numbers does work, at least to get the point out. But, I don’t think “coming out” would matter, because I do think that if we had serious violations of our rights as gays/lesbians, we will be there in some form. “Coming out” doesn’t mean not supporting our rights and causes. Others feel that it will lessen discrimination, once again power in numbers. Some people have never known a gay person! If they knew that their friend, sister or brother, someone very close to them were gay, maybe they would see that they love them for them? Bigotry will always exist. For those that know the hatred surrounding them, they’d rather keep it silent.

So, you may feel pressured to “come out,” but is it the right choice for you? No matter what anyone says, it’s ultimately your decision and yours alone to make. If you are thinking about it, here are some things to consider:

1) Am I ready? Never let anyone pressure you! This is your decision, and never get forced into it. You can tell whoever you want when you’re ready, or you can do your best to keep it a secret for your whole life. You’re gay. You’re living your life. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel that they are judging you negatively because you won’t be open about it as they are.

2) Who will be your biggest challenge in telling? Mom? Dad? Who? If you are ready, you’ll need to decide on who to tell first. Will you tackle who you think will be the toughest opponent, or who you think will be the most understanding? Their are a couple of things to keep in mind with this. I’ve known those that have told their most understanding friends and family first, working their way to the toughest. This is the easiest way to do it, besides it gives you practice and comfort knowing you are accepted. One thing to keep in mind though, is that you will most likely get the following question: Who else knows? If you are telling your parents, they may have a huge feeling of embarrassment, so that’s usually one of the first questions. You will also encounter someone close to you, that will ask, “how long have you known?” It doesn’t matter how close this person will be to you, and how understanding you think they will be, because they will be extremely hurt that you waited so long to tell them.