Rules by Which a Free Society May be Reduced to Petty Dictatorship

“An ancient Sage valued himself upon this, that though he could not fiddle, he knew how to make a great City of a little one. The Science that I, a modern Simpleton, am about to communicate is the very reverse. I address myself to all Ministers who have the Management of extensive Dominions, which from their very Greatness are become troublesome to govern, because the Multiplicity of their Affairs leaves no Time for fiddling.”

         – Benjamin Franklin

I refer your attention to that work of the above named scholar, “Rules By Which a Great Empire May Be Reduced To A Small One”, and here provide a View, a Satire upon a Satire, of the Rules by which our Government’s apparent designs may be more swiftly fulfilled.

However peaceably your people have submitted to your Government, shown their Affection to your Interest, and patiently borne their Grievances, you are to suppose them always inclined to terrorism, and treat them accordingly. Quarter police among them, who by their Insolence may provoke the rising of Protesters, and by their Batons and Tasers suppress them. By this Means, like the Husband who uses his Wife ill from Suspicion, you may in Time convert your Suspicions into Realities.

Much of the Strength of Government depends on the Opinion of the People; and much of that Opinion on the Choice of Rulers placed immediately over them. If you send them wise and good Men for positions of Authority, who study the Interest of the People, and advance their Prosperity, they will think their Government wise and good, wishing the Welfare of its Citizens. You are therefore to be careful who you recommend for those Offices. If you can find Rogue Traders who have embezzled their Fortunes, or Career Politicians who have abandoned their former allegiances and beliefs, these may do well as Ministers; for they will probably be rapacious, and provoke the People by their Extortions. Wrangling Spin-Doctors too are not amiss, for they will be forever disputing and obfuscating the plainest truth. If withal they should be ignorant, wrong-headed and insolent, so much the better; all will contribute to impress those ideas of your Government that are proper for a People you would wish to renounce it.

To confirm these Impressions, and strike them deeper, whenever the Injured come to the Capitol with Complaints of Oppression or Injustice, punish such Suitors with harassment, incarceration, enormous expense, and a final Judgment in Favor of the Oppressor. This will have an admirable Effect every Way. The Trouble of future Complaints will be prevented, and Officers and Officials will be encouraged to further Acts of Oppression and Injustice; and thence the People may become more disaffected, and at length desperate.