A Wedding in Ancient Rome
by Many of our modern marital customs stem from practices of ancient civilizations, such as those of the Romans. Though in some ways their rituals may seem foreign, in many others they mirror the ceremonies of today.
The average age for a Roman girl to marry was about thirteen or fourteen; men usually married in their late teens or early twenties. If the husband had been married previously, there might be a wide age gap between him and his wife.
Engagement
The husband was normally chosen for the girl by her father or guardian. The law laid down that if the girl did not agree to the marriage, it could not take place; but very few daughters would have found it easy to defy their father’s wishes. The girl’s father would also negotiate with the groom’s husband about the dowry (dos); this was a payment, whether in money, property or both, made by the bride’s family to the husband.
At the ceremony of engagement (sponsalia), the groom promised marriage, and the father of the bride promised on behalf of his daughter. Gifts were exchanged, and a ring was placed on the third finger of the girl’s left hand (now called the ring finger). The reason for this was a common belief of the time that a nerve ran directly from this finger to the heart. Familty and friends were present as witnesses, and the ceremony was followed by a party.
Under Roman law, there were two different kinds of marriage: Cum Manu (where the bride passed completely into the control of the husband) and Sine Manu (where the bride was legally still a part of the father’s family). As time progressed, Sine Manu marriage became more common. This kind of marriage gave the wife both the power to divorce her husband and to own property, and was also far easier to enter into, as the husband and wife only had to declare their intentions of marriage before moving in together.
The main reason for marriage was to produce and raise children. Often, after marriage, both husband and wife had extramarital relationships with others of either sex.
The Wedding Ceremony
On her wedding day, a bride wore a white dress (tunica alba) and yellow shoes. Her hair was styled with a yellow hairnet (reticulum), underneath a bright orange veil (flammeum). The bride had an attendant (pronuba), a married woman who would help her through the day. The bride’s house, where the wedding ceremony (nuptiae) was performed, was also decorated for the occasion.
The bride and her family and friends met with the groom and his family and friends in the atrium of her house. The ceremony began with a sacrifice, usually of a pig, the entrails of which were carefully examined to ensure that the omens were favorable. If they were unfavorable the marriage was postponed. If not, a marriage contract was signed by ten witnesses and the pronuba joined the right hands of the couple as the bride recited the marriage vow: “Ubi tu Gaius, ego Gaia.” Then the guests all shouted, “Good luck!” (”Feliciter!”)
The ceremony was followed by a banquet, and then, after nightfall, the couple prepared to go to their new home. The groom pretended to carry off the new bride by force, and the couple was followed home by a procession of guests carrying torches and singing songs to Hymen, god of marriage. Some guests threw nuts (nuces) to children for good luck. On arrival at the house, the bride was carried over the threshold to avoid an unlucky stumble.
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