Greek Mazes, Monsters, Menages a Trois (And Bestiality to Boot)

Greek legend would have us believe that when King Minos (son of Zeus) came to the Cretan throne his brothers weren’t too chuffed so, in order to prove his right to the crown he ’sent an ancient email’ (prayed to Poseidon, God of the Sea) to give a sign of approval.  He asked that a white bull be sent to him as confirmation and promised that if that sign of approval was sent, he’d sacrifice the bull in Poseidon’s honour.

Poseidon duly obliged but Minos decided he rather liked the little white bull (now’s the time for all of you over 45 to burst into song with your impressions of Tommy Steele (at least here in the UK)!!) so decided to sacrifice the best bull from his herd instead.  Obviously not the sharpest chisel in the tool box – even I know you don’t tangle with the gods! – it goes without saying that Poseidon wasn’t best pleased so he punished Minos by forcing Pasiphae, Minos’ wife, to fall in love with the white bull.  She arranged for the architect Daedalus to make a wooden cow, she then climbed into it and fooled the white bull into mating with her – just hope she made sure there weren’t any splinters!  From this mating Pasiphae produced a child that had the head and tail of a bull but the body of a man, and this monstrosity scared the Cretans to such an extent that Minos summoned Daedalus to his Court and commissioned him to make a labyrinth so big and complex that it’d be impossible to escape from it.

Once it had been completed, Minos and his Merry Men, captured the minotaur and locked him in the labyrinth but every so often, seven youths and maidens were gathered from Athens and sent into the maze for the minotaur’s delectation and delight!  When it came to the the third sacrificial anniversary, the Greek hero Theseus (the product of a menage a trois – his mother Aethra had entered into a bit of hanky panky with Poseidon and Aegeus on the same night!) volunteered to go into the maze as part of the picnic hamper and kill the minotaur to prevent more of his fellow Athenians being led to the slaughter.