Top 10 Weirdest and Stupidest Inventions of the 21st Century
by Hating your golf game? Want to sleep with little baby Johnny, but scared you’ll roll over onto him? Bibs for adults? Some people have too much time on their hands, and decide they CAN make a better mousetrap, or reinvent the wheel. Here are 10 of the most pointless and bizarre inventions created in the 21st century between the years 2000 and 2008.
#10 – Snot Watch
No, not a watch made of snot, but a small pack of wipes you wear on your wrist. Apparently this person decided they were too good for handkerchiefs and Kleenex. When I was a kid, we just wiped it on our arms.
#9 – Flower Fly Trap
Yeah, we all hate flies, but how do we get them out of our home? Unless you love the sound of searing flesh that Electric Lights make, why not use the Flower Fly Trap! Just like a roach motel, it lets them in, but not out. Micro-filaments point down to a jar that can be cleaned. Now, I’m no expert, but don’t flies eat fruits and sweat and stuff? I don’t have a line of flies by my daffodils!
#8 – Thumb Sucker Inhibitor
“The ‘Apparatus for Inhibiting Digit Sucking’ is an attractive way to get rid of an unsightly habit. Simply attach the steel girder and metal support beams to the desired appendage.” Steel girder? Okay, well if sucking your thumb is unsightly, a STEEL GIRDER is totally unnoticeable. Yeah right.
#7 – Ash Bib
So you’re driving along with your cigarette, when it starts to get pretty charred on the end. But, you need to keep your hands 10 and 2! What’s the solution? The Ash Bib! Just put it on and it’ll catch all your ash so you can keep your hands free! Now, this is actually an okay idea, but it just looks silly. If smoking makes you look cool, this bib will make you just look like a geek.
#6 – Motorized Picnic Table
Mosquito problems? Noisy neighbor problems? Talking, picnic-basket-stealing-bear problems? Never fear, just move! With a top speed of 18 miles an hour, you can easily transport your family, franks, and fun to a different location! Now Yogi will be left in the dust.
#5 – Shotgun Golf Club
Get a 15 on a Par 5? If you need to take the edge off, just pull out the Shotgun Golf Club, complete with a 5 wood head and a loading area for shot.
#4 – Pump Mud Flaps
“Like, Sarah! I just got these new jeans for like, a mega deal! But it’s soooo rainy out, how do I keep the mud off them?” Mud flaps of course! These pumps will keep the mud off at least 3 whole inches of your back leg. Isn’t that why we have something called a WASHING MACHINE?
#3 – Baby Cage
No, it’s not pre-Juvie. It’s a sort of rollover cage, so you don’t smother your baby. I’m not sure if buying one makes you a thoughtful parent or a sadistic one. Put junior in a crib beside the bed next time.
#2 – Tricycle Lawnmower
With all the talk about clean energy, we forget our most abundant one: Toddlers. So why not harness your sugar hyped little angel and use him to mow the lawn! A non-motorized mower is attached to the back. I wonder if this violates Child Labor Laws…
#1 – Day Knight
Ah yes, those pesky UV rays, so dangerous. Sunglasses? Only cover part of your face. Sunscreen? As Lewis Black once said, “It could be zebra come, you don’t know!” The solution? A giant tinted visor that flaps down over your face. It can be lifted for consumption of food or beverages. Also a great conversational piece. Thinking of picking up chicks with it? They’ll think you’re preparing for a jousting match.
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