January 17 1945 I reported to work at midnight at General Eisenhower’s headquarters and was informed that we would fly a secret mission to Poland a 3 AM(from London) in an uniquely marked German Storch four-place airplane, captured from the NAZIS. This mission was not to be ever talked about nor mentioned and it wasn’t until now. We flew roundabout over Switzerland and landed at a makeshift Russian airstrip 18 miles from Auschwitz. Colonel Bates, the pilot( name unkown) and the General and I descended to be cordially welcomed by the Russian General who had asked for this meeting(Vishinsky or Vishitsky?) and my General Eisenhower went to breakfast with the Russian officers, while I breakfasted with the Russian enlisted men. Then we drove to that infamous camp, the FIRST Americans to view it…with its ironic sign at the gate.ARBEIT MACHT FREI…Work Will Free You.

I with a tommy-gun and a dozen armed Russian soldiers went first into the camp, which had been “liberated” two days before and we saw with dismay the inmates, lying about listlessly or the more healthy looking for guards for retribution, most of whom had been killed by the Russians.

We eventually came to a huge mass of human bodies, like a mountain…the stench was horrible… a later count stated that 350,000 men, women, chidren, and babies were there. I was very glad to escape momentarily by going back and bringing General Eisenhower and the Russian General to the top of the pile.

Ike looked, and turned to me, my holding a machine gun and facing away from him. Tears poured down his face. Clutching my shoulder he stammered: “Today we are all Jews!”.

In a few hours, we were safely back in England, and soon, I, hurt by a V-2 rocket bomb, on Ike’s orders had been flown back to the U.S. and Princeton University officer training school.

I was out of it.

But was I?

Recently, a psychiatrist who knew the story of my involvement as the first free American to see Auschwitz, asked me if I could tell him the reason that many freed and returned inmates of Auschwitz had eventually, though freed, comitted suicide.

My answer was brief. YES, I could understand. I had spent ONE HOUR in the camp and here sixty-five years later, the horror was with me, and would never leave.

What about those who spent YEARS in the camp in constant contact with the horror?

MANY returned to normalcy and devoted themselves to trying to prevent the re-occurrence of Auschwitz or similar unbelievable acts…for those whose contact with this human disaster and who, notwithstanding now having personal freedom, erased the memories with death.

We owe the greatest gratitude to those survivors who worked to prevent any recurrence of such things, but we equally should say a kaddish for those ,who, unable to survive the memories, chose the release of death.