A Family Christmas After Divorce
by The popular saying goes like this: "Breaking up is hard to do." Yet when it comes to marriage in the U.S., a large percentage of us do it. Divorce, however unpleasant, is common in today’s society, and deal with it during the holidays is a fact of life that children and adults must deal with.
A divorce – especially a new one – can be particularly trying during the holidays. The Christmas season is one of giving and family, and the dissonance of a divorce can greatly threaten the joy of the season. The challenge for adults is to keep Christmas spirits high for the children.
A Family Christmas After Divorce
The popular saying goes like this: “Breaking up is hard to do.” Yet when it comes to marriage in the U.S., a large percentage of us do it. Divorce, however unpleasant, is common in today’s society, and deal with it during the holidays is a fact of life that children and adults must deal with.
A divorce – especially a new one – can be particularly trying during the holidays. The Christmas season is one of giving and family, and the dissonance of a divorce can greatly threaten the joy of the season. The challenge for adults is to keep Christmas spirits high for the children. Just because a relationship has been destroyed does not mean a child’s Christmas must be destroyed as well. Here are some tips that does not happen this holiday season.
Put Your Kids First – Christmas is a selfless season. It is a time when we focus on charity. Keep it that way. Think not of yourself, or how to “one up” your ex-spouse. Instead, focus on the needs of your children. Ask yourself what you can do to ensure that the holidays are happy and productive for them. Then do it.
Buy Your Ex a gift – So much as kids loves getting gifts they also wish being part of giving. They revel in the opportunity to provide both mom and dad a gift or two, and it is up to you to make this possible. Your little one has no money and no transportation, so the only way they get your spouse a gift is if you suck it up and take them Christmas shopping. Do not be parents who are too proud to buy your ex a gift. It is the child you will end up hurting anyway.
Do not Hog Kids – It may be a custodial agreement in place where children spend Christmas with my mom one year and then with my dad next. Everyone loses when that happens. Unless mommy and daddy live too far apart, there is no reason why children can not see both. Maybe they spend most of Christmas Eve in one place, then go to the other to spend the night and wake up on Christmas morning. Next year, reverse the roles so that both parents have the opportunity to see the little ones wake up on Christmas morning and see what Santa left them. See what you can train with your spouse. Remember, do what is best for the child.
Do not take the phone Off the Hook – When it is not possible for a parent to see their children on Christmas Eve for some reason, not shut them out completely. Let the children call them to say “Merry Christmas.”
Old Habits Die Hard – Since Christmas is about family traditions, a divorce natural fractures these traditions. It is especially hard on children. When it is possible to maintain an old tradition, such as helping mom make cookies or helping Dad pick a tree, do it. When it is not, start new traditions with your children. They need them.
Not Bad-Mouth Your Ex – If you need to complain about your ex, make it to your adult friends – and not make it in the presence of children. No matter how you feel about your ex, your children still love them and look up to them. Do not hurt the children by talking bad about their mom or dad.
Author Bio
Jeremy White, a writer for Imaginary Greetings, Inc., is a regular contributing writer specializing in features, sports, business and food writing, and often contributes to a variety of print and electronic publications. For more tips on how to really brighten up your child’s eyes this holiday season as never before the visit www.greetingsfromsanta.com.
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