A Redneck Holiday

I suppose any southern person would tell you they are a redneck. Some even carry the title proudly. “Yup, redneck here.” Well, I can’t say that I am a redneck, but I most definitely have the biggest redneck family. Have you ever had a gift thrown at your head because you said the wrong thing? Have you ever had a neighborhood full of police cars on Christmas day because your sister is standing in the middle of the road, birdie finger out, yelling the famous “F” word for whatever reason? Yep, pretty redneck. These, by the way, are two different occasions. Both on Christmas though. Instead of cooking Thanksgiving, my relatives went to an Indian pow wow and more or less made the rest of us fen for ourselves. Pretty  redneck. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to mention, checking the mail in their underpants, passing gas in public, trying to belch louder than the person next to them. Oh family. All in all, they are good people at heart. They are more embarrassing than having your bathing suit bottoms fall off while water intertubing…and that is pretty darn humiliating! There are also the 11 and 13 year old nephews who run around calling  everyone, “Hoss.” Pretty redneck.  I can’t possible foget to mention the ever so famous “shed.” The hangout. They literally have an OUTDOOR fire pit inside a tin shed. The ” Redneck Yacht Club.” So what is the difference between being southern or just being a plain ole redneck? I am not quite sure yet, but when I figure it out I will let you in. Until then, I do have a family of rednecks for sale if you are interested in that type of lifestyle.