Avoiding The Office Letch
by With all the Christmas festivities well under way and the office parties in full swing, how do you avoid being stuck with the office letch, the office Romeo and the office bore?
With all the Christmas festivities well under way and the office parties in full swing, how do you avoid being stuck with the office letch, the office Romeo and the office bore?
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You want to enjoy the party, you picked out a new little black number, now you need to safe guard against being seated next to some undesirable from the 5 floor.
You could volunteer to book the restaurant and do a seating plan, seating yourself next to people you like.
You could arrive fashionably late and make sure you pick a seat far away from people that would ruin your evening.
You could apply a fake coldsaw that spreads down your chin. This could be removed later when you have fixed your poison eyes on some man you do want to spend the evening with.
You could just not go at all, this would save you any unnecessary stress.
You could arrange for the undesirables invitation to go missing.
You could stuff your ears with cotton wool and pretend you can’t hear, they would soon get fed up and run off to ruin someone else’s night.
You could send little notes to all the people you like telling them how special they are to you, in the hope of them being so taken in by your splendid-ness that they surround you all evening, thus keeping the undesirables away.
You could eat pure garlic gloves before you go, your breath will act as an invisible barrier. If the undesirables come to get you your breath will burn their eyes out!
You could just get so drunk you won’t care.
Or you could just forget your hang-ups about people you don’t like and go with the motto ‘Tis a season of good will to all men’ rather sexist text that is isn’t it? But you know what I mean.
Relax, enjoy, keep your knickers on and keep away from the photocopier.
Drink lots of water before you go out and during the evening to avoid hangovers!
Don’t be tempted to drink and drive.
It’s just one night out of the rest of your life!
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Post CommentAlmaG
On December 19, 2009 at 8:49 am
Wonderful post! and I think that the last two lines is very very important :
Don’t be tempted to drink and drive.
It’s just one night out of the rest of your life!
ken bultman
On December 19, 2009 at 8:57 am
I used to try to avoid the office letch but I finally gave in and let her have her way with me. Job security and all that, you know.
Jane Jane
On December 19, 2009 at 9:37 am
Good that I’m still not in this stage of life bothered with all of these things.
johnnydod
On December 19, 2009 at 9:46 am
I don’t have to much problems with this one, I am the boss and no one wants to have a go with me…but if any of them are reading this.. feel free
redmail99
On December 19, 2009 at 9:47 am
nice….
lillyrose
On December 19, 2009 at 9:49 am
hahaha Johnny, get some mistletoe ! and Ken you are such a naughty devil!
deep blue
On December 19, 2009 at 10:48 am
Thanks for these wonderfully thought moves to help us get even this Christmas. Advance Merry Christmas, Lisa.xx
Cheers,
Will
jimbob1
On December 19, 2009 at 11:14 am
Miss L…Some interesting tips except the garlic…unfortunately you can’t turn it on or off at will so if it causes the letch’s eyes to water it will do the same for the hunk!!! Oh, well…can’t win them all, but it would be nice to win a few – hunks, I mean!!! Hope to read so much more from you as you continue to turn out some incredible work on an ever increasing variety of interesting and unusual topics…what a great well springing forth with inspiration. Thanks.
Sharif Ishnin
On December 19, 2009 at 11:36 am
Great tips on how to be an escape artist!:D
Christine Ramsay
On December 19, 2009 at 11:45 am
I love this article. I find if you go quiet on them they soon get the message without you having to be too rude.
Christine
jaysonv
On December 19, 2009 at 12:15 pm
I like this post…
ceegirl
On December 19, 2009 at 1:13 pm
excellent poet.
metro7
On December 19, 2009 at 1:48 pm
ha ha no comments
metro7
On December 19, 2009 at 1:51 pm
have changed my mind it sud be relax enjoy and keep your knickers on till the right guy comes along ha ha.(nothing personal)
sandie
On December 19, 2009 at 2:32 pm
stick romeo with the office bore together, now that should prove interesting lol!
cutedrishti8
On December 19, 2009 at 2:36 pm
last 3 lines are nice
LoveDoctorLoveGoodBye
On December 19, 2009 at 2:42 pm
I think I would much rather fix my “poison eyes” on the fine guy and have a glass of wine. Wine not only relaxes me but makes me laugh. And have a ball and forget everyone else around me. Hopefully, they will get bored and pick someone else to ruin their night. Great one!
qasimdharamsy
On December 19, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Very Nice…..thanks…
Glynis Smy
On December 19, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Fortunately I no longer have that worry as I no longer work
Interesting article.
Noodleman
On December 19, 2009 at 3:57 pm
Lol nice one =)
Frances Lawrence
On December 19, 2009 at 4:18 pm
I love the post, I have a perfected a special ‘Paddington Bear Stare’ that usually wards off any unwanted attention!
Papa Sparks
On December 19, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Have to watch for those who can’t hold their egg nog!
A fun post to read and I would also like to wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas, Happy Christmas, Happy Holidays and all the best for the new year.
I hope the holidays are filled with much warmth, happiness, and blessings for you and your loved ones.
Guy Hogan
On December 19, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Since I’m self employed now and work alone I don’t have to worry. But this was fun to read.
Teves
On December 19, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Thank you for sharing…
drelayaraja
On December 19, 2009 at 10:31 pm
Nice.. Thank u for sharing
The Last Ogre
On December 20, 2009 at 1:54 am
Good post. Some things to remember. And definitely I don’t drink and drive.
petercurtis97
On December 20, 2009 at 4:12 am
very comical especially the knickers and photocopier hehehehe.
Mr Ghaz
On December 20, 2009 at 5:58 am
very interesting! I loved it! cheers
8)
Craigz
On December 20, 2009 at 7:10 am
LOL very funny post. There will always be a weirdo in the office party.
alc
On December 20, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Nice thanks for the share!
Wennie Estares
On December 21, 2009 at 8:24 am
It doesn’t worry me anyway.I’m naturally a healthy person; but I like your last line.
STEVE666
On December 21, 2009 at 12:11 pm
The office letch could actually be a woman!
CRYSTAL EVANS
On December 22, 2009 at 3:53 pm
office letch..first time am hearing or reading that term…lol..thanks for sharing.X
The Last Ogre
On December 23, 2009 at 9:46 am
PhoenixRox
On December 23, 2009 at 3:01 pm
It’s just one night out of the rest of your life!- That is the attitude I like. Yay!
fashion girl
On December 27, 2009 at 8:59 am
“Drink lots of water before you go out and during the evening to avoid hangovers!”
but when do you get to drink tequila?! 
p.s. I will be going to bathroom more often 
magicdarts
On December 31, 2009 at 12:36 pm
quality! – a dose of garlic should help keep ricky gervais and co at bay!!
oldster
On December 31, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Good advice Lily. Any ideas on how to avoid the knickerless one at the photocopier?