Christmas Is-a Coming

Honey, have y’all done your Christmas shopping yet? Well, I ain’t and I tell you child I hope I don’t have to go with Sister. She is the ugliest thing when she goes shopping. She will knock a person down and run over him if she sees something on the bargain table. I wouldn’t be surprised if Sister started carrying pepper spray like that women did at Walmart. I really wouldn’t. Sister is just pig headed enough to do it, too. But honey, Sister does love Christmas. She’s already had Guthrie out in the mountain lookin for a big old cedar. She did tell that scutter not to do like he did last year and cut one so big it wouldn’t go in the house.

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Sisters already had my younguns and hers stringing popcorn and making chains to go all around her Christmas tree. She’s had them gathering them big old pine cones and spraying them with gold paint. She is determined to out do me and that’s a pure d fact. I don’t care though. Sister ain’t as smart as she thinks she is. I’m going down to the bog at the foot of the mountain and gather me some of them wild cranberries to make me some chains. And I’m gonna go and get me some of them pretty silver icicles and we’ll see who’s trees the prettiest.

Guthrie and Roy get a kick out of me and Sister trying to out do each other with our Christmas trees. They hunker around the fireplace drinking that white lightening and guffaw something terrible. Them old boys even get the kids to snickering at us. Sister just says to hell with them and that’s that. It’s no skin off our nose anyway. They’ll sing another tune when it’s time to cook all them good Christmas pies and cakes. You just ought to see all the dido’s they cut to get on the good side of us then.

You all know how sister likes to throw off on my cooking. She claims her cakes is better than mine, but if it’s so you wouldn’t know it from how the family chows down on what’s on my table. Honey, they don’t leave crumb one. We always do have our family dinner at Sisters but it’s just because Sister is so jealous and thinks I might take over. But child, I wont. I don’t want all them uncles, aunts, and cousins gathering around my table. Some of them relatives is just like old sore tail cats. Honey the fussing they will carry on with, you would not believe. It will just make your hair stand on end, and brother he is a corker. He will take on any argument and honey, he will win. Well, children I hope y’all have a great big old Christmas with plenty of good eats. And I hope y’all don’t have a bunch of relatives around the table acting like a bunch of sore tailed cats. I tell you children, it’s like being nibbled to death by ducklings, especially if they’s a preacher among em, but don’t let me influence you against preachers, they generally can do it on their own.

Tulans Articles:

http://gomestic.com/home/sisters-getting-ready-for-christmas/

http://gomestic.com/home/sister-went-christmas-shopping/

http://gomestic.com/family/its-all-in-the-family/

http://gomestic.com/cooking/christmas-popcorn/

http://authspot.com/thoughts/sister-and-the-preacher/