Creating The Magic During The Holidays

There are keys to overcoming these unavoidable aspects of the holidays.

1. A few self-reality checks you can do standing in front of the mirror.
   1. Ask: Am I expecting a fantasy or reality?
   2. Ask: Am I looking to the holidays to mask or escape my problems?
   3. Ask: Am I putting too much pressure on myself or others?
   4. Ask: Am I doing things because I want to or looking toward getting someone else’s approval?
   5. Ask: Have I communicated my desires and feelings with others as well as taken the time to listen to theirs? Remember, listening to someone is a much more involved process than hearing what is being said. I liken it to taking a test where answering an essay question brings you more points than a multiple choice question. In an essay you are defining your understanding of the answer. In a multiple choice question knowing the correct answer doesn’t mean you understand it.
   6. Ask: How much importance have I put on my expectations?
2. Spend within your means. Give with your heart not with your wallet. The post-season bankruptcy filing rate is always a yearly high that fails to impress or garner appreciation from anyone.
3. Understand that self-time is not an evil but a necessity of life even if it is as little as fifteen minutes. On the opposite side interrupted self-time is an inevitable circumstance of every day living. Be possessive of this valuable component to self-renewal, but be realistic not rigid. Flexibility in thinking and understanding goes a long way toward building long standing relationships. Keep in mind that skyscrapers are built with calculations that include the sway factor.
4. Be aware that holiday celebrations are landmines laced with the ingredients that are known to trigger depression. Some of those ingredients are:
   • Sugar
   • Caffeine
   • Alcohol
   • Smoking
5. Volunteer or participate in some form of charitable event or gesture. The best and most satisfying way to do this is anonymously. I say this because it relieves all parties the stress of expectations in the manner of giving and receiving. I once participated in a group that anonymously donated the complete works for a Christmas celebration to a family that couldn’t afford one which included a decorated tree, gifts, food and a visit from Santa. The family was picked at random. And it was agreed that no one from our group was allowed to have direct contact with the family selected. They did not have to feel indebted or beholden to anyone. And for us to hear stories of the event gave us all an unequaled sense of pleasure from having made someone’s holiday a happy one.

In closing I offer you the most important tip to having a great holiday season:

Be honest with yourself.

Is your goal for the holidays to bring happiness to yourself or to add to the spirit of the season?

True happiness starts from within. If you are unhappy or even experiencing depression before the holidays, the season more times than not will compound your negative mood. If you truly want to be happy take the steps to learn why you are feeling what you do. No person, place or thing can bring you true sustained happiness. It is unfair and selfish to put that burden outside on another. Quick fixes offer great highs but even quicker and greater lows. Get support. Get help. Get happy. The creation of the true magic of the holidays and true happiness within begins with you.