Five of the Worst Santa Clauses

Here is a list of five of the worst Santa Clauses.

1. Hillbilly Henry. He was a jolly, heavy man. He loved to play the role of Santa Claus. Unfortunately, he also liked to drink a lot. His ho, ho, ho, did not go very well with his alcohol breath and his propensity to belch.
2. Slim Jim. He always wanted to be Santa Claus. At six feet two, Jim weighed one hundred thirty pounds. Even with the stuffing, he looked like a poor man’s Santa Claus. It didn’t help that he had a high-pitched voice.
3. Sarah Lee Piedmont. She was the stern first grade teacher at Baker’s Elementary. She dressed up as Santa every year. She insisted that Santa would not give out any gifts unless each boy and girl recited their A, B, and C’s. She also warned the children not to misbehave or otherwise they would be run over by a reindeer.
4. Jasper “The Mad Dog” Jackson. He was a professional wrestler that loved playing Santa Claus. He was strong and could lift two children in the air with ease. This frightened the children very much. It didn’t help that he would slam-dunk an elf.
5. Two-Ton Tucker. He couldn’t get out of his chair. He weighed over six hundred pounds and he couldn’t get out of his chair. They had to special order a Santa outfit for him. When he hollered ho, ho, ho, the whole room shook. Five strong men had to help lift Santa from his chair. One time Two-Ton Tucker tripped over his beard. He went crashing to the floor. They had to use a lift to get him off the floor.