Halloween Costumes to Offend Your Friends and Co-Workers

Last year, a once obscure Alaskan Governor became a popular Halloween costume. Young and old women (and even some men) put on their thick-framed glasses, red dress suit and delighted their liberal and conservative friends with their Sarah Palin costume.

This year, the political scene isn’t handing us up as much of an obvious pick. You’ve got to look a little harder to find inspiration. Fortunately Hollywood has stepped up to give some good costume inspiration.

Warning: some people WILL find this offensive.

For couples, might I suggest Pimp & Prostitute… aka: Conservative Activists. This plays off the recent undercover video shot by two 20-something people at an ACORN office, a video being played over and over again on cable news stations. Women, find a mini-skirt and tight tank top. Men, find a fur coat and a ridiculous hat.  Most likely people will identify you two as a pimp and prostitute. The humor comes in when you correct them by explaining you’re “Conservative Activists”. (Bonus points: Carry a small video camera around with you, and start asking people if they can help you get a loan for your whore house.)

Kanye West: Just wear a lot of dark clothes (dark denim & dark jacket) and carry in one hand a microphone, the other hand carry a bottle of Hennessey. Unless your friends live under a rock, they’ll recognize the reference to Kanye’s outburst at the VMA awards. (Bonus Points: Drop that famous line of his wherever you find an opportunity. For example: when a friend is mixing a drink you say, “Imma let you finish, but Brad really has mixed one of the best drinks tonight.”)

Serena Williams: Pretty simple. Grab a tennis-looking outfit, a racket, and just argue loudly from time to time. (Bonus points for throwing down the racket and breaking it).

Just too lazy to go buy a costume and hassle with Halloween. Well, then South Carolina Republican Joe Wilson is your answer! Just wear a regular business suit, and on occasion shout “You Lie!” (Bonus Points: if you apologize to the person you yell at, but then avow you’re not going to apologize again).

Angry Mob: This is a pretty simple and cheap costume. Just find an old 4th of July t-shirt, or anything red, white & blue will do. Then make a hand-made sign on a piece of cardboard. This is where your own creativity comes into play. The sign could read “Don’t ruin Medicare with Socialized Medicine” or you could print out a picture of President Obama and just draw a Hitler mustache on him. (Bonus Points: every so often break down in tears and talk about how much God loves Glenn Beck).

Happy Halloween!