Happy Father’s Day, Dad
by A tribute to my father on Father’s Day.
Dad Took Over
Dad stayed at her side day and night until they released her and then she could not take a step without his watchful eye. He took over the cooking and cleaning, which was definitely an indication of love from a man who never stepped foot in the kitchen before. It was during this time that I came to appreciate my father more. I saw a gentleness and tenderness in him that was new to me.
Lessons from Dad
Dad and I never bonded, but I have learned much from him. He taught me that anything worth doing is worth doing well. Father never did anything half way. In fact I never saw a mistake in anything he built or repaired. He fixed cars, did plumbing, electrical, construction, woodwork, painted, hauled grain, farmed and any number of odd jobs. It was because of Dad’s woodworking skills that my sister and I had access to scrap wood and his tools. We made birthday and Christmas presents for years.
He believed in a strong work ethic, honesty, respect, and cleanliness. Father was strict and firm while Mom was too, but she took time to play.
Dad is Now Whole
Dad, I believe that your father’s day in heaven is infinitely better than the last one you had with us. I know God has restored your mind. You’ve no need for a body where you are. Perhaps you have wings? The last I saw you; you lay peacefully in your bed, where you had passed in your sleep. The pajamas hung on your lean frame. They say you lost your appetite and I’ve since learned that with Alzheimer’s the patient actually forgets how to eat. Father, I choose to cherish the memory of your tenderness with Mom, as she is so special to me, and it did my heart good to see what she meant to you. I used to say she was a saint to have put up with you, but in the end you took care of her as best you could. I know you are still looking over her with love because the kind of love the two of you had cannot be severed by time or space.
I love you, Daddy. Happy Father’s Day.
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Post CommentCHAN LEE PENG
On June 21, 2009 at 7:13 am
Great tribute to dad, sister! May his soul stays in peace. Happy father’s day to all dads in the world!
CHAN LEE PENG
On June 21, 2009 at 7:14 am
Liked it.
Jenny Heart
On June 21, 2009 at 7:28 am
Beautifully said with much heartfelt emotions. Like it and love it!
Melody SJAL
On June 21, 2009 at 7:45 am
What a loving tribute to your dad. Happy Father’s Day to all.
Kairos
On June 21, 2009 at 7:54 am
beautiful, so touching
Daisy Peasblossom
On June 21, 2009 at 8:19 am
Where young love is a delight, witnessing the love of a married couple who have been together for a long time is a sacrament.
Mr Ghaz
On June 21, 2009 at 8:34 am
Wonderful tribute to dad..Fantastic words too..Have a blessed Father’s day
papaleng
On June 21, 2009 at 9:03 am
wow! a very touching tribute to your dad. I almost shed tears.
Anne Lyken Garner
On June 21, 2009 at 9:37 am
Aww… I’m really touched by this. Your dad truly loved your mum, but perhaps could not show it until he felt she needed him totally.
I never bonded with my dad either. If he has a good, gentle side, unfortunately, I will never see that.
I’m glad that you were able to make your peace with him before he died. (I thought that nurses were there to *remind* patients to eat.)
valli
On June 21, 2009 at 10:40 am
Great, loving and touching tribute to your dad.
Anna Storer
On June 21, 2009 at 11:53 am
Dear Judy,
The fear of growing old is just that-FEAR. What is fear?
F-False
E-Evidence
A-Appearing
R-Real.
Life is a process of conception(in all it’s forms),that springs to life and life it self is the concept of being.
My sweet precious one-be not afraid of growing old and all that it offers. Old age is not the end of independence. Look around you and see how many young people are dependant on us all because of some misfortune that has beset them. I nursed my Mum for six years (lost both legs because of diabetes),took care of my youngest brother(intellectually handicapped) and my Dad who will be 94 this birth day( was mugged twice in his own home and left with a broken hip after the second attack. In that time also under went a bowel operation)My younger brother died 4 months after my mum. My Dad is very frail-but very independent in many ways. My oldest sister has Alzheimer’s.
Be not afraid of what old age can bring. But be afraid of what you did not see when you had the chance to. One of my sons has a friend who lost his sight at the age of 17(now 23) through a freak accident. His family are millionaires, and all the money in the world cannot restore his site. But he is a very happy lad who can see and appreciate life for what it is. He and my son won the bronze medal in the world cycling championships in Argyle Switzerland in 2006 for Australia. The young man(Bryce Lindores) also won bronze in Beijing.
Your tribute to your Dad is one of the most warmest I have read in a long time. But to just bring all these loving sentiments only on a day once a year is taking away the very thing that is your Dad-a Man for all seasons and for everything that God meant him to be. Love him and remember him as you your self would like to be in the pages of history – a beautiful dove with the spirit of God.
All my love and Be Blessed Always for that love which you have.
goodselfme
On June 21, 2009 at 11:58 am
I have waited to read this since I knew of its existance before it was published. A fine composition of sharing your father with me and so much of your parents life as well. Thank you. You are quite a warm, loving spirit to be able to write such a piece as this in tribute to your father. To me I see you bonded maybe after his passing. What a wonder that seems to me!
Anna Storer
On June 21, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Buy the way-for those who do not know, in Australia we celcbrate Father’s Day in the first Sunday of September and Mother’s Day the second Sunday of May.
And may each day be a special, beautiful day to all.
Judy Sheldon
On June 21, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Chan, I agree with you, happy father’s day to all dads!
Jewels, Melody, Kairos, Mr. Ghaz, and Valli, thank you for your warm support.
Daisy, their love was and still is touching. I was lucky enough to watch them renew their wedding vows on their 50th anniversary.
Anne, my father had problems expressing the gentler side of his nature. His anger would get the better of him and we saw that often, but her illness transformed him.
With Alzheimer’s the patient forgets how to eat, even how to swallow.
Anna, my husbands mother has been bed ridden for years and on a feeding tube. Her memory fades in and out. My father seemed to have lost recollection of all but the special feelings he held for my mom. I think of both of my parents daily. Love should not be celebrated once a year – like Valentine’s day, but making a little more to do about it then is nice.
You have given some very wise advice and I am so proud of the medals the young men won.
Roberta, Dad always struck fear in me. We were never close. I visited him because after all, he was/is my father but it is hard to spend time around someone when you feel they would prefer to not have you around. I appreciated so much when he began to treat my mother more tenderly. I love and adore her, so anything or anyone that made her happy, made me happy. It was only recently that I realized he was not malicious; just not able to express affection or encouragement. Not everyone is equipped to handle being supportive. Love expresses itself in other means.
Louie Jerome
On June 21, 2009 at 5:34 pm
Mice piece, Judy.
Louie Jerome
On June 21, 2009 at 5:36 pm
Um…or even NICE piece! LOL Sorry Judy, there’s not a mouse in sight!
Momma Tells
On June 21, 2009 at 6:21 pm
Heartfelt piece, Judy. Treasure your memories…
Juhls
On June 21, 2009 at 7:12 pm
Touching tribute… there is sadness in the details of decline, but so much triumph and inspiration from love and devotion radiating from your family despite these tribulations.
Jane Benitez
On June 21, 2009 at 7:12 pm
Judy, I really enjoyed your article as tears rolled my face- I am such a softie. Your article was so vivid and had tremendous feeling. Thanks for sharing a beautiful tribute to your Dad.
BC Doan
On June 21, 2009 at 7:28 pm
Beautiful tribute, Judy!
Cynthia Bartlett
On June 21, 2009 at 8:09 pm
I worked four years with Alzheimer’s Residents. I understand what you went through. Beautiful tribute to your dad.
Ruby Hawk
On June 21, 2009 at 9:10 pm
Judy, you were and are a thoughtful daughter. Some people are not able to show warmth because they never had any shown to them as youngsters. It doesn’t mean they don’t have the same feelings everyone else has. I have had friends with Alzheimer’s and it’s a terrible thing to watch. All the ailments of old age is something to dread because we see what happens to so many of our elders but we can only take care of ourselves and hope for the best and enjoy our health and mobility while we have it.
maranatha
On June 21, 2009 at 11:14 pm
This is a wonderful tribute, all the more so for the stark honesty you display. I’m glad you have come to find peace between you and your father.
Francy
On June 21, 2009 at 11:54 pm
Thanks, I like it
quiet voice
On June 22, 2009 at 12:42 am
…my, my Judy, I could not help but feel the deep love you had for your parents. Tears welled up in my eyes also. Very
special piece. All of us have complicated relatuionships with our parents sometimes. Life is like that. Take care always Thanks for sharing.
Judy Sheldon
On June 22, 2009 at 6:35 am
Louie, you always write so perfect. It’s nice to see that your spell checker hic cups too!
Momma Tells, I try to explain that to others when I hear them squabbling over material thins. It is the memories and feelings that outweigh all those.
Juhls, Jane & BC, & Francy, your warm support is very appreciated.
Ruby & Cynthia, Alzheimer’s is something formidable, and I plan to fight it. We must enjoy and treasure our physical and mental health.
Maranatha, that peace was a long time coming, but I savor it now.
Quiet Voice, our parents play a huge role in who we are, and if not for them, we would not be. Thank you for your support.
HeyZel
On June 22, 2009 at 8:37 pm
Very nice.
swatilohani
On June 23, 2009 at 6:52 am
cool
Lex92
On June 25, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Great tribute to your Dad!