Hilarious Highlights From the Tournament of Roses Parade
by The Rose Bowl Parade is an American tradition that started in the 1880s. Every year, as people usher in the New Year with a hangover, the Rose Bowl Parade is roaring to life in Pasadena, California. It’s an annual American tradition followed by a display of brute force known as football. Here are some highlights from the past few years, including Stormtroopers, singing dinosaurs, and octopi.
In the early 20th century the Rose Bowl parade added a football game, The Rose Bowl, to help fund the parade and give men an excuse for watching a parade “No honey… I’m just waiting for the game to start.”
Be you one of the million people watching it in Pasadena or the millions watching it on television, you’re in awe at the local television stations float.
Here we see all the local celebrities headshot painted on the side of a balloon made of flowers. I’m not sure what this float is supposed to represent, but it’s doing a good job of holding our attention, until we see the Stormtroopers.
Our inner nerd starts singing the imperial fight song in preparation for the big game. You think, “Wow those Stormtroopers must be hot in their plastic suits.” More Star Wars tributes follow closely behind with the well protected Darth Vader.
Just when you think your going to blow your nerd-gasket, you see a real piece of American History.
The stereotyped Native American! The stereotyped Native American has been around for years, gaining real popularity with the introduction of television into the average American Home. You get angry. How could they do this? What’s the meaning of this float? To further stereotypes? To… To… Oh another shiny object!
The Dino-Mites! You haven’t heard them since Henry Winkler and The Fonz on Happy Days. You quickly forget about the stereotypes and glittering generalities being forced upon your impressionable mind because they have rock music! Devil’s Music! Nature truly does Rock! I don’t know of any other dinosaur with a mohawk, but this one’s pink jacket assures me he’s going to rock me like a hurricane.
What’s this! A hurricane of a float. A safari on wheels. There’s enough flowers on here to decorate the White House.
The Rose Bowl Parade takes place in Pasadena and goes through the center of town, eventually leading up to the Rose Bowl football game. The parade route follows the now ancient Route 66, the haunted cross country ghost road of the pre-interstate days.
I think this is a Life Aquatic float. If the hats were red it would be more convincing. Nevertheless, the giant sperm whale that is about the crush the small submarine up front is a good touch. If only Bill Murray was here to Grand Marshall the parade.
Bill Murray may not be here but at least there’s bejeweled men and women stocked to the teeth with pro America colors, studs, jewels and large hats.
You’re quickly distracted when a herd of these walk by.
You have no idea what they are but find yourself strangely attracted to them and unable to stop watching them. Left. Right. Left. Right. Spandex stretching around every…
Then an instant reminder of why you came, Football! You don’t want to miss the “big game” so you get up from your plastic lawn chair and begin to turn around.
The lion. A symbol of American patriotism, pride, heritage and riches. This lion was crafted from seven and a half million flowers and weights twenty five billion tons.
I hope you enjoyed the parade and the game! Hopefully the Rose Bowl Parade was an enjoyable way to user in a new year with new resolutions. Have a Great Year.
Here are more highlights of the parade you missed while you left to glue yourself in front of you television for the game.
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Post CommentR J Evans
On January 5, 2009 at 2:01 am
Wonderful! If there is one thing that Americans can do properly, that is a parade! The storm troopers – fantastic! Loved it!