Home Alone – for Christmas

Written on December 24, 2010:

I will be “home alone” for Christmas. My wife and youngest son are now in in another state visiting my wife’s parents and and our son’s grandparents. They did this last year. I was invited, but declined, as I lived there for 20 years, and I don’t miss my wife’s parents like she does, and I would feel like a 5th wheel. I’m not upset about this.

Last Christmas, I traveled by AmTrak and visited my brother, but don’t want to waste time and money to go to a cold, boring place again. I love my brother, and stayed with him last year, but he lives too far from the “city” and it’s too cold. Not that the city is a fun spot in winter anyway. I’d rather be warm here in Arizona, and hike, read, write, and enjoy some solitude.

My oldest son seems that he’s “too good” for me. He hasn’t said those words, but he sure acts that way. He and his wife and 3 girls live in another state. Too bad he and I haven’t talked in two years…..

My second son will be at his home (in another state) for Christmas, but plans a trip to California shortly after that. His wife’s parents live in California. Jake’s a good kid and keeps in touch often. He’s more spiritual than any of my kids, I believe, and never acts “too good” for anyone.

My older daughter is a reprobate and I don’t really want to be with her. I can’t handle her emotionally – partly from the crap she pulled last year, and partly because she is an alcoholic and drug addict, but is in denial about it. In spite of having been in jail before, she is facing yet another term soon for her 3rd extreme DUI. Lucky me that she lives in the same town I do.

My younger daughter also lives in the same town that I do. However, she is going on a trip with her mother (my ex-wife) and stepfather. She didn’t tell me about this. I had to find out from others in the family. I had also heard that my ex- had told our kids, “Don’t tell your father about” it. Nice.

Not to forget my 5th child. He’s jobless, but has an apartment that I believe he will be evicted from in a month or so. He got a job, but didn’t feel well one day and never showed up, so he lost that job. That was about 3 weeks ago. He went to a junior college last year on a grant, but dropped or failed his classes, so he tried again this fall. And, again, dropped out or failed his classes. He’s an alcoholic and drug addict, but he is honest enough to admit it and says he’d like to stop. Overall, he has been more respectful to me than some of my other children, but spending Christmas with him, while family, doesn’t seem like a delight.

Apparently, from what I had heard, my ex- has been spreading rumors about me. And they aren’t pleasant ones. She claims to be a “righteous” and “active” member of a church, so why would she want to say things that she can’t possibly know to be true, and even if she did, why would she run around and tell others?

Otherwise, I’m great. And that’s true. I love teaching college part time, and having the rest of my time to read, write, hike, and take care of my wife and youngest son. Merry Christmas!