I would like to explain that I am completely DISGUSTED  with this so called, ”Feast”, people have on thanksgiving. Apple pie is American, as well as a good, tortured, and killed turkey, but this year I was disgusted. Many people are getting too lazy and have made ham. That’s right America, ham. How can some one substitute ham in place of a bird. They are two complete different species.

     Seriously, America has become to lazy to be…well, America. Sure we have freedom, but it’s our own job to impeach that right and stuff our lazy faces with turkey like the unwritten Thanksgiving law tells us to! More and more people are eating other food like ham; if you went to any fast food restaurant on Thanksgiving, may the patriotic god (different than whichever one you believe in) have mercy on your poor unsatisfied and untasteful soul. If you believe in reincarnation, may that same god turn you into a Turkey so you can be part of the feast one day.

     Whats next, not giving presents on Christmas or Hanuka? Not hiding eggs on Easter? Not sacrificing a goat on halloween? Now if your below the poverty line, (Which many people are) I’m not saying steal a turkey before Thanksgiving; that would be wrong. I’m saying borrow it, and forget to return it until you have the money to buy it. (I don’t condone stealing.) All jokes aside, why would anybody deny the opportunity to have a huge magnificent feast?

     Now, here’s why you have to have a homemade meal on Thanksgiving. If you don’t, the war in the Middle-East will never end. They need us to be their cheerleaders, and damn me to hell if I won’t show my patriotism by eating a bird. So, on a final note, I’d just like to say six words.

“Eat a bird, save a soldier!”

PS:Now, here’s me shamelessly advertising a Thanksgiving Cook book in case you can’t cook… Cheap advertising; Now, THAT’S American.