Not So-Happy Holidays
You don’t have to celebrate every year’s big December holiday blitz, you can hide out (metaphorically) with a good book and plenty of chocolate. Do what you feel — it’s the best gift you can give yourself. And ignore all the sparkling, carol-filled pressure that’s swirling around you. Bah Humbug, you say? If that’s how you feel, just roll with it.
Forced merriment. The season is upon us, everywhere….a full-court press of mandatory joy. But what if you’re not feeling very merry…at all?
You may have something the experts call GAD (I believe it stands for Generalized Anxiety Disorder) or some unnamed ennui. Fear not, at least, about that nagging sense of loneliness you feel while the rest of the world is wrapped in shiny paper, in shades of red and green (of course) and you feel like you’re sitting in a corner like some unwanted reindeer.
• First, recognize that the constant rushing and holiday-mania that’s swirling around you MAY be causing some of your dis-ease. Try to treat Sunday, December 10 as an ordinary Sunday,
rather than becoming some celebration-less cast-off. Like any other time of the year, be yourself. Be true to yourself. Be who YOU are. You are finally a grown-up and presents are more likely (we hope!) visceral and ephemeral, rather than material. Keep away from the endless joy being churned out by your television, all the specials and commercials that seem to be mocking you. Free yourself of the noise. You can’t escape it completely, but you CAN quietly (so as not to ruin any else’s good time) be your own Grinch. Whether it’s Christmas, Chanukah or Kwanzaa that seems to be your seasonal nemesis, boycott it. Take some of the pressure off by simply following your own heart. If you’re not in the mood, enjoy the stark beauty of December, the warmth of the ocean (this time of year, the water is warmer than the air) the changing light in the sky. And if you’re feeling too low for that, celebrate absolutely NOTHING. Or do whatever you feel like doing or not doing!
• Forget the calendar. If you’ve got one on your desk, slide it off. When people ask you what your holiday plans are, be vague; don’t feel forced to join their reindeer games!
• There are always typical remedies experts offer when someone is out of step or depressed: join a group, see old friends, seek professional help. I have the opposite advice: do what feels right. Get a massage or a spa treatment if you can afford such personal luxuries; go to the movies—and avoid anything related to the season. Go off your diet for a week; indulge yourself, follow no rules for getting better, except for one, which you’ll find below. In the meantime, it is within your right to mourn what you’re missing. If you don’t have much family and the world is singing carols and you feel lonely, think about three things that MIGHT make you happy and go after them: a lost love, a promotion that’s holding you back, a change of venue. REAL LIFE does go on during this month-long gifting fest. Follow YOUR heart.
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