Not Your Traditional Christmas Ornaments: 15 Ornaments for Those Non-Traditional Trees

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I guess Mrs. Claus was feeling a little frisky while Santa was out delivering gifts.  This ornament is from Spencer’s and is called “Snowjob”.  There’s apparently others in the series although I couldn’t find any pics of them.  I guess it’s maybe a good thing.  They are actually called “pornaments”.

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Ahahaha!  I love this one.  At least the ornaments on the picture of the tree are standard.  Candy cane, ball, presents I all understand.  I hope something crazy happens when he finally gets the star put in at the top of the tree.  Buzzzzzzz.

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This ornament was called the “Glittering Gun” and was sold a couple of  years ago at a store called Urban Outfitters.  It prompted many activists to call for a boycott of the store.  Strangely, the ornament was also very popular.  They have also faced other bouts of bad publicity during the holiday season for selling a shirt that says “Santa Hates You” with a big picture of Santa flipping the bird.  Apparently these shirts are also very popular and are mostly sold out.  Ah, Christmas!

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What says Christmas more than empty liquor bottles stuffed with lights.  I think this picture was supposed to be a cute shot of the cat but I just can’t get over the idea of drinking booze for decorating purposes.  I guess it just sounds like a great excuse!

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That’s right, it’s dog crap.  And it can be yours for only $5.95!  It’s a surprisingly realistic rendition covered in “glittering snow”.  The site selling it calls it “Yule Doos” and suggests it for all your dog owner friends.  Like they don’t have enough of their own!  I guess just tie a festive ribbon on it and give it to the paperboy.  Recycling at it’s finest.  Apparently they’re already sold out.  I guess you’ll have to think of another gift for that person you don’t like.  Or just make your own.

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How does Dracula say Christmas?  Is it the blood sucking?  Is it the long flowing black cape and pointed teeth?  Is it murder or taking the life away from someone and turning them into a vampire?  I guess this is on every goth Christmas tree across the land.

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Okay, I really like this one.  It’s cute and witty all at the same time.  Another plus, is that it’d be super easy to do at home.  Glue, sparkles or stick on letters would surely do the trick.  I guess this is one way to get teenagers interested in decorating the tree!

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Eye balls?  I don’t get it.  How about eyeballs with santa hats on them?  Please let me know if you have any of these on your tree.  They seem to watch you where ever you go.  Even creepier than Santa and Dracula.

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What do these last three ornaments have in common?  They’re all made from tampons.  That’s right, tampons.  I found this crazy site called tamponcrafts.com where they make anything from Christmas ornaments, to menorrahs, to a bouquet of flowers to a wig.  That’s right, a wig.  I’ve just never seen anything like it.  I hope not to again anytime soon but I just had to share it with you!  You’re welcome.

Here’s a look at another article I did featuring non traditional Christmas trees.