The Curse of the Instant Mashed Potatoes

Lois had a old, long expired box of mashed potatoes, but she didn’t want to throw them out. My understanding is she came from a family that never had much, so there was no such thing as wasting food. Amongst the kids it became a funny, private joke quickly forgotten after the meal…until I reminded them.

I’ve got a good sense of humor – I like a good gag as much as the next person, and pulled my fair share of them. I’ve driven off with a friend’s parked car and moved it to another spot. I’ve served tea with a day old newspaper that had already been read by the person. “HEY! You asked me if I wanted to read the paper, and it is yesterday’s edition!” I never said I was giving them the current day’s edition. I’ve told friends to serve other friends cheese (you know who you are) for their birthdays when that friend looks at cheese like Superman views kryptonite.

Wandering around the warehouse shopping place, the perfect gift had suddenly hit me. “Fred, get Lois a new box of instant mashed potatoes. She’s out and definitely needs one for next Thanksgiving!” Fred broke out in hysterical laughter in the shopping aisles, not aware of all the quiet Greeks looking strangely at us, trying to figure out what was so funny. He loved the idea and took me up on my suggestion as a gag gift.

If memory serves me right, the kids received a care package from Greece in mid January, and they loved their presents. Then Lois opened hers. “Instant mashed potatoes??” None of them got it at first, but later on the kids put it together and it became a private joke. I don’t know if they ever let Lois in on it, but it was the source of laughter for quite some time.

Fred’s eating at Lois’ house this Thanksgiving this year. I hope she isn’t serving instant mashed potatoes, but either way I sent him a text message warning so he can avoid food poisoning.

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