The Magic of Santa Claus

If one was too poor to afford reindeer, it was common practice to drink the urine of the stoned upper classes. This is likely the origin of the concept of “trickle-down economics”, and it is believed to be the origin of the phrase “getting pissed”, which pre-dates inebriation by alcohol by several thousands of years.

The first travelers to Siberia observed that the many tribes there used Fly Agaric for ritualistic and entertainment purposes, and even today it is used by the village shamans of Siberia and Lapland. It was used in Northen Europe for recreation and spiritual purposes long before vodka was imported from the East. In 1976, the American mycologist Jonathan Ott suggested that the use of Fly Agaric in the Midwinter festivals of deepest Siberia may have inspired some of the modern feautures of Santa today.

The traditional Siberian dwelling, called a yurt, was made from birch and reindeer hide. It had a smoke-hole in the top with a birch pole to support it. During the Midwinter festivals, the village shaman would enter the yurt through the smoke-hole, carrying a bag filled with dried mushrooms or flagons of urine, either from reindeer or the shaman himself. Or he would have fresh mushrooms, which he would hang in stockings over the fireplace to be dried. Sometimes the mushrooms would be strung together and hung over the fire, a practice echoed in the tradition of stringing popcorn to decorate the Christmas tree. After performing the festival ceremonies, which typically involved everyone present getting sufficiently stoned on the mushrooms, the shaman would climb back up the birch pole and exit through the “chimney”. The people thought that the shaman and his reindeer could fly.

The practice of leaving gifts under the tree may stem from the fact that the Fly Agaric, the most sacred Amanita, grows under evergreen trees. The shamans would pick them and hang them from the tree to dry. Placing gifts under the Christmas tree (which is traditionally an evergreen tree) mimics nature and is symbolic of the “treasures” created by it.

Our modern Santa bears little resemblance to the original St. Nicholas. In fact, he is a much more accurate representation of the Siberian shaman, who often donned red and white robes in tribute to the sacred mushroom. A side effect of eating Amanita mushrooms is flushed skin and a ruddy glow (Santa’s rosy cheeks and nose), and it is reported that those under the influence of Fly Agaric tend to laugh and bellow a euphoric, “Ho ho ho!”.

Today, Christmas cards with pictures of Amanita mushrooms remain common in Central Europe, and the Fly Agaric mushroom is still the emblem of the region’s chimneysweeps.

So this Christmas Eve, after sending your children off to bed with visions of sugar-plums in their heads, don’t forget to leave the cookies and milk out for Santa. He’s bound to have the munchies!