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The Six Worst Halloween Treats

Halloween is a time to enjoy the sweet taste of decadent candy. Sometimes, it doesn’t taste so sweet. Here are the six worst Halloween treats.

Oh, the pleasures of Halloween! To dress up in elaborate costumes, stay out late, and roam the streets in search of candy and other Halloween treats would seem to be paradise for a child. Unfortunately, not everything that gets put into a trick-or-treat bag is tasty and delicious. In fact, some Halloween treats are best left with their original owners.

What are the worst Halloween treats? While everyone has different tastes and probably no two people can totally agree on the best and worse Halloween goodies, these typically “bad” Halloween treats deserve mention:

1. Apples

This is usually given out by some well meaning neighbor who doesn’t want to contribute to tooth decay and thinks that kids should be eating healthier. With all the good intentions in the world, she plops an apple into each child’s bag and sincerely wishes each witch and goblin a happy and safe Halloween. Unfortunately, those apples can really weigh down a Halloween bag and if you happen to have one of those flimsy paper ones, you run the risk of a disaster. Plus, you’re not going to eat that apple anyway. You have plenty more like it at home. It’s even worse if the apple happens to be rotten.

2. Boxes of Raisins

These aren’t quite as bad as the apple. At least they don’t weigh down your Halloween bag and potentially tear a hole in the bottom of it. Yes, they’re a healthy alternative to candy, but this happens to be Halloween and it’s not a time to worry about tooth decay and childhood obesity. This holiday is all about stuffing your face full of decadent candy. Probably the best solution is to give that box of raisins to mom to use when she next bakes a batch of oatmeal cookies.

3. Candy Corn

If there is ever a Halloween candy that’s been completely overdone, it’s candy corn. You see it displayed and given out so many places before Halloween that you can hardly stomach it when the big day finally arrives. Are you really going to snack on that candy corn when you have a full-sized Snicker’s bar in your bag?

4. Dum Dum Suckers

This is another completely overdone candy treat. You can find them ad nauseum in doctor’s offices, restaurants, and stores where they’re being given away as something sweet for kids and adults alike. They’re almost as ubiquitous as those very uninspiring peppermint hard candies. The only advantage to these overexposed candies is that occasionally you’ll end up with the crème soda flavor which happens to be the best of the bunch.

5. Old, Stale Candy

Some folks decide that Halloween’s the time to get rid of all that candy laying around the house that they can no longer eat because they’re on a diet, just got dentures, or just found out they have a sky high cholesterol. The only problem is that the candy’s been lying around a very long time. While it may not poison you, it certainly isn’t going to tantalize your taste buds.

6. Baked Goods

Some well meaning people spend hours over a hot oven preparing fresh baked cookies for the trick-or-treaters. While these cookies may taste perfectly fine, do you really want to eat a cookie from someone’s house you don’t know? Who knows what ants and roaches lurk in their pots and pans? Plus, if you put one in your Halloween bag, it’s going to crumble in the bottom and create quite a Halloween mess. It’s best to leave the fresh cookies for the next bake sale.

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User Comments
  1. The Non-Returner

    On October 15, 2007 at 5:34 pm

    Worst Halloween Treats I’ve Received:
    A Bag of Cookies

    Keep up the good work Kristie Leong M.D.!

  2. JennyPenny

    On October 6, 2008 at 2:26 pm

    This article is so funny and true!
    I grew up in my grandparent’s house, and my grandma would (and still does) prepare little zip loc bags containing a Nutra Grain bar and a little 4oz juicy juice box.
    The Juicy Juice was a good idea, since one always gets thirsty while trick or treating, but she’d never listen to our opposition to the Nutra Grain bars. I still wonder how many thousands of Nutra Grain bars ended up in the trash over all these years?
    Luckily in recent years, she’s added 3 Musketeers bars into the bags (not the best candy by a long shot, but at least it balances out her ‘healthy’ snacks)

  3. Cierra

    On October 8, 2008 at 10:02 pm

    How Much Money??

  4. Anna

    On October 11, 2008 at 11:59 pm

    Stale suckers with hearts on it (Obviously from Valentine’s Day).

  5. Sarah

    On October 14, 2008 at 1:08 pm

    your all GAY…

  6. jjh

    On October 26, 2008 at 6:35 am

  7. Anon.

    On October 26, 2008 at 7:17 pm

    #5 by Sarah, Oct 14, 2008
    your all GAY…

    YOUR dumb….

  8. Allison

    On October 28, 2011 at 3:11 pm

    Those D@mn peanut butter taffies in the orange and black wrappers! Those things were AWFUL! It was the one treat all the old ladies in your neighborhood passed out!

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