What to Say When Your Child Learns That Santa Claus is Not Real

Christmas does not seem complete without the image of Santa Claus. Every child imagines the jolly old fellow with a white beard and red outfit gliding through town with his reindeers and bringing gifts to children. The adults, on the other hand, would always weaves magical stories about their own experiences with the old man to feed the excitement of their young loved ones.

But what happens when your child learns that Santa isn’t really coming to town? I remember my own experience when I was about 9. My brother, older by three years and ever the discoverer, told us that Santa Claus is not real. He saw from his own eyes our parents putting in our socks by the Christmas tree all the small things that we loudly wished for. I remember how different the feeling was. For a while it was like waking up to a reality that there is nothing so magical about Christmas, nothing so special. But it dawned on me later the same day how lucky we still are. Growing up in a small town where poverty is very real, I remember how our playmates would longingly look at the candies, cookies and toys that we got for the occasion.

When we asked our parents later on if Santa is real,  they knew that it’s time to tell the real story. They knew that their children are outgrowing the world of fairy tales. So they explained carefully that Santa Claus was an ordinary person, who did extraordinary things. That all the elves, the flying reindeers, and the magical stories are only representations to explain his deeds more clearly, like the fables that we hear everyday.

Many would consider this conversation as an ordinary day in parenting. Few realize that it is one of the first times that a child questions his own parents’ credibility and the truth behind long held traditions. If one is not careful, this sets a foundation for the propensity to question every authority, to look at the details of customs and traditions more than what they represent, to be rebellious. And it must noted that this discovery is close to the age of adolescence, where rebellious tendencies could get full blown.

I remember Mom and Dad tell us that the real Santa is from far away and he died long ago. The flying reindeer is not true, but during his lifetime he sees to it that he can give the gift to every child he knows.  That is the reason it looked like he had a magical sleigh.

 Although they did not say it directly, we learned that hardwork  is really the magic that transforms into sweet candies and beautiful toys; that love enables parents to understand their children’s deep wishes;  and that it is happiness in the family, more than a magical group of reindeer, that makes us really fly.

When it is my turn to answer the question to my son, I will say as they did.