A Wake Up Call

Think back to when you were a little girl, playing house with your dolls and stuffed animals. It is natural for a little girl to be nurturing and “take care” of things, even if was just a doll or favorite teddy bear. As you get older and play house you realize there is a Daddy involved and you now play house with the neighborhood kids and have pretend weddings then have a honeymoon night and you have started your family. At the end of the day everyone goes home with no cares or worries.

I remember every morning before school we would leave the house early to have fake weddings. As soon as you declared that you were boyfriend and girlfriend, the union ceremony took place before the bus came. As a teenager we start to look at bridal magazines and pick out the most beautiful not to mention the most expensive dresses and rings. Plan the honeymoon and then carefully choose the house with the white picket fence that you want to raise your family in. What happens next? You wake up. I am not against dreaming and wanting what every little girl anywhere in the world dreams of. In fact I am all for it, but in my case nothing worked out the way I dreamed. I met my boy’s father working a part time job in the evenings and on the weekends. I was 16, had a little money in my pocket and working late nights on the weekends was a perfect lie to tell my parents. I volunteered to close every weekend; I would get out at 1am to party and have sex then go out until 3 or 4 and sneak in the house past my Dad’s room straight to bed.

I got good grades in school, quiet, did what I was supposed and stayed out of everyone’s way. Little did anyone know that I was out living it up and doing the “cool” thing ~ lying to everyone I cared about, even myself. My Mom and Dad divorced when I was 13 and my Mom moved out of town to remarry and there was no way I was going so I moved in with my Dad. We had the closest relationship and I always wanted to please him and protect him from finding out what was going on behind his back. I was the only one of my friends that had a two parent home for as long as we did. Once my parents divorced I was lost, my Mom was an alcoholic, left us alone and I played Mommy to my two younger sisters, choosing to live with my Dad was an easy decision. I would not have to play “Cinderella” anymore. After a few months of “closing” I started feeling nauseous in the mornings and also noticed I was gaining a little weight.

I discovered I was pregnant at 16 and in the 11th grade. At the beginning of 2nd bell everyday I would put my books down and go straight to the bathroom and on the weekends I would sleep through it so that no one would find out. I hid for as long as I could and instead of being responsible I decided not to tell my Dad that I was going to move in with Mom to help my sisters out. I could not look him in the face and tell him the truth. This decision turned into years of anger between my father and I, tension and havoc at my Mom’s house so I decided to move in with the father and have two more children with him. All because I thought being with him would make my other problems go away. I just created years of hard times, physical and verbal abuse and attempts to take my life. I am now 36 years old and have been a single parent since I was 29.

Teenagers hear me when I say listen to your parents, grandparents, aunts and mentors. Do not fall into peer pressure and have sex to be cool or to because everyone is doing it. Do not compromise your life, your future or your purpose. You are somebody in God’s eyes and no one can take what you agree to give up. Hold on to your innocence and be what you want to be first and then when you are happy and stable, start making that dream you had as a little girl a reality. If you have already become a teenage Mom, be strong and be encouraged. Do not allow anyone to tell you that you will not be anything. You can and you will with God as your helper, you will.