Behaviour by Association

What and whom we associate with usually rubs off on us, for better or worse. That is why we should stick with like-minded people, for they will influence us positively. And that is also the reason we should listen to uplifting music when we are down. It is the reason why we stay longer in some homes than others, for the ambience is more inviting.

This topic reminds of a related case: washing clothes. Some time back I got a new help to do my washing. It had been close to two weeks since we had done any laundry, and a mountain of clothes had piled up. The girl worked her way through the dirty clothes and soon the clean ones were hanged on the line, flapping happily. I was glad to have the task completed. However, my heart almost stopped beating when I came out of the house to be greeted by the sight of my white shirts looking like the rainbow had landed on them. 

Dotting the clothes were all sorts of colors. I was thoroughly shocked, knowing that it would not be easy to replace them. And so I sat down the house help and explained that white clothes should never be mixed with those of other colors when laundering them. Yes, I still had my clothes intact, but the marks on them were conspicuous. Maybe they will never come out.

This incident is true to the saying, “you become what/where you live”. When you spend time with certain people, you morph out to be just like them. General Collins Luther Powell, American statesman and four stars General said, “The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve. Anytime you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity. An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people.

“As you grow your associates will change. Some of your friends will not want you to go on. They will want you to stay where they are. Friends that don’t help you climb will want you to crawl. Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream. Those that don’t increase you will eventually decrease you.

“Never receive counsel from unproductive people. Never discuss your problems with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because those who never succeed themselves will always tell you how. Not everyone has a right to speak into your life. You are certain to get the worst of he bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person. Don’t follow anyone who is going nowhere.”

Powell adds that with some people, you spend an evening, while others you invest in it. That you should be careful where you stop to inquire directions along the road of life. “Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the right friendships. If you run with wolves you will learn ho to howl. But if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights. A mirror reflects a man’s face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses. The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you closely associate- for good or bad.”

Since the clothes episode, I am always conscious of what or whom I align myself with. I am keen on what I eat, for this will eventually show on my face and my body. I am keen on what I read, for it will reflect on my intellect and way of thinking. I am keen on my thoughts, for will translate into actions and behavior. Watch what and whom you associate with. Certain characteristics will rub off on you.