America has a past marked with violence. We are an aggressive country that has always fought to get what it wants. The American people battled for independence and have always looked towards the spirit of competition. Our society values action sports and entertainment that often contain elements of violence. Our heroes have always been the tales of legends. Americans have grown up hearing about cowboys and Indians and gunfighters and outlaws. These elements seem to be passed to our youth through the media and pop culture. Is it any wonder that violence is now cropping up in our schools? Our biggest question used to be why Johnny can’t read? Now we question, why does Johnny shoot? Ask any veteran teacher and they will tell you that classroom discipline is a lot harder these days.

School violence is any behavior that violates a school’s educational mission or climate of respect or jeopardizes the intent of the school to be free of aggression against persons or property, drugs, weapons, disruptions, and disorder. (CPSV, 2002). This definition takes into account that violence can take many forms and not be confined only to school shootings. Violence can include put-downs, insults, threats, trash talk, bullying, cliques, and pushing. Students begin with these kinds of behaviors and if left unchallenged will advance to increased levels of violence such as fighting, sexual harassment, stealing, drinking, drug use, weapons, vandalism, and gangs. Some may even take the level one step further to murder and suicide. (CPSV, 2002). All seem to agree that violence on any level does not belong in the school, but do not agree on how to stop it. Also society questions why is this happening now? Why are we seeing increased violence among our youth when our biggest problems in school used to be getting caught smoking in the bathroom? Regardless of who or what is to blame, schools must have programs in place to stop the spread of school violence.

Bullying is the biggest way that violence shows itself in the school setting. Webster’s Dictionary defines bullying as the act of intimidating a weaker person to make them do something and persistent aggressive behavior directed towards a particular victim, particularly children at school, who cannot retaliate effectively.( Merriam-Webster Online, 2005).

Bullies, like teenage drama and pimples, have been with us through adolescence and have always been considered just part of growing up, but we hear more about bullies these days, because the incidents are more violent and the consequences more terrifying. No more is it just a bloodied nose or black eye at recess. Now we hear of guns, knives, murders and suicides. Something about the bullying we hear about these days feels different. It’s not always the mean big kid beating up the scared little kid. It’s often six, seven kids beating up one scared little kid. Or we hear about children extorting lunch money or stealing jackets from others. Today’s tales of bullying could be as extreme as six or seven girls swarming and beating the girl who doesn’t fit in. Bullying can be a group behavior. It could be a group of girls shunning one girl. Bullying can be a look, a word, or a tone of voice. Girls use friendship as the currency of bullying, saying, “You can’t sit with us today.” The victim is left wondering was it her hair, her outfit, or did she forget to put deodorant on? With boys, bullying could be spreading rumors that they are gay or attacking their manhood in some way.

The problem of bullying seems to be getting worse. A major development in this area of concern has been the rise of school shootings. Sometimes the victim of bullying just can’t take it anymore and retaliates. For example, a victim of taunting and bullying that bordered on torture, Andy Williams a teen was charged in the deadly March 5, 2001 shooting rampage at Santana High School. Authorities say Andy Williams opened fire at the school with a .22-caliber handgun he took from his father’s gun cabinet. Deputy Public Defender Randy Mize provided a typed list of 18 episodes in which he said Andy Williams was the target of harassment and physical assaults by classmates. The list included being burned with a cigarette lighter on his neck every couple of weeks, being beaten with a towel that caused welts by bullies at the pool, and being slammed against a tree twice because of rumors. Williams just couldn’t take the abuse anymore and snapped. (Gembowski, 2001)

Reasons for being picked on include being fat, thin, tall, short, hair or skin color, being quiet, wearing glasses, having big ears, small ears, sticky-out ears, crooked teeth, being from a different culture, having different likes or dislikes, the “wrong” clothes, unwillingness to use strength to defend him or herself, or any perceived or fabricated excuse. These excuses have one thing in common: They areall irrelevant. (Rhodes, 1998).

Each reason is a deceptive justification for the bully to indulge in a predictable pattern of violent, physical or psychological behavior against another child who is smaller, younger or less strong than the bully. The target is simply a useful object onto which the bully can displace his or her aggression. In other words, if a child is picked on because they are allegedly fat, then losing weight will make no difference. The bully simply invents another justification. Recent research show that about 80% of people express contempt for bullying, but that people who have been identified as bullies believe that their bullying behavior causes them to be perceived as admirable. Bullies do not see that there behavior is wrong. (Gray, 2004)

Bullies themselves also tend to be unpopular, both in schools and later in the workplace. New studies indicate that childhood bullying leads to workplace bullying, and that children who are victims of bullies often become victims as adults. According to the UK National Workplace Bullying Advice Line, bullies in the workplace tend to have antisocial and narcissistic personalities, but will often show great charm to those who are in power above them. They will also work carefully behind the scenes to isolate their targets by spreading rumors, representing their targets as incompetent and align with other bullies to enhance their power within the organization. (Kar, 2004)

Studies show bullies tend to be aggressive, unimaginative and controlling. They maintain relationships by displays of strength and by inducing fear to gain respect. When childhood bullies become adults they are more likely to have criminal records. When bullies are not stopped, they grow up and start rumors about others at work, follow too closely on the freeway, beat up their spouses, and raise new little bullies next door.

With school tragedies highlighting unforgivable torment suffered by many young shooters, bullying has become a life-and-death issue that we ignore at our children’s peril according to Barbara Coloroso author of The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander: From Pre-school to High School: How Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle of Violence. Colorosa admonishes adults for trivializing bullying behavior and for accepting or brushing off teasing as a normal part of childhood. She writes that adults cannot afford to be a passive, inattentive, bored or a deeply saddened audience. More adults, Coloroso believes, need to become active participants in addressing the problems that lead to and arise from bullying. The introduction of her book discusses more than a dozen incidents where victims of bullying have killed themselves and sometimes others. Six of the fourteen incidents Coloroso highlights took place in Canadian schools. Her message is clear; our children are dying because of bullying. (Andrew, 2003)

Bullies bully because they can. Because schools and families don’t or won’t recognize the behavior, and victims and witnesses don’t speak up. It has to stop. Schools need to step in and provide intervention programs to help both the bullies and those being bullied. “If you cut out the bullying you cut out a lot of the violence later,” says Dorothea Ross, an expert at the University of California. (Rhodes, 1998). It is easy to think, let’s get rid of the angry kid, the misfit, but that’s not enough. If you take the rotten apple out of the orchard, and the orchard is still rotten, another victim will rise for the amusement of the crowd who will either participate in the bullying or not stand up against it. The goal should not be to get rid of the bullies, but to get rid of the bullying. (Rhodes, 1998)

Studies have shown that far from lacking self esteem, bullies are often overly confident. Schools can help to rechannel this energy to transform bullies into leaders. The best way to neutralize bullies is to lesson their opportunities. The best way to do this is to empower potential victims with behavioral strategies and back them up with a supportive school community. Bullies often come from homes where there is little warmth and parental attention, and where parents discipline inconsistently using physical punishment and emotional outbursts. They often have little empathy or trust and little ability to delay gratification. Structured counseling and education that stresses acknowledging actions, empathy development, and restitution is likely to be effective if it follows negative consequences for the aggressive behavior. Bullying youth often need to recognize that their behavior will continue to lead to consequences until they change it before using any counseling. Informal counseling, serious talks, requests to apologize, asking why, pleading, and expressions of frustration are unlikely to help and may make things worse. (Davis, 2002) Bullies seem to respond best to clear no tolerance programs that say no to any forms of bullying.

Anti-bullying programs in the schools can help. Bully proofing a school involves more than the bullies and the victims. It requires engaging the entire school population. 85% of the average schools are the silent majority. (Feinberg, 2005). These kids are neither bullies nor victims. These children need to be recruited into the “caring majority.” The caring majority intervenes when they see someone being bullied. The caring majority informs a teacher if someone is in trouble but doesn’t tell. The caring majority abide by classroom rules of respect and sharing. The result is that the bullies find themselves in a world where their actions will not be tolerated. The bully’s challenges go unheeded, and their stunts are dismissed. They are the ones who will feel out of place when bullying someone if the majority of students take a stand against bullying. The idea is to get kids to be nice to each other, not to exclude others, and resolve conflicts by talking.

Children who are isolated, perceived as different, sensitive, have poor social skills, and sometimes children who are just in the wrong place at the wrong time are most likely to be the victims of a bully. Students who are victims of bullying may lack social skills and friends. Victims tend to be close to their parents and may have parents who can be described as overprotective. The major physical characteristic of victims is that they tend to be weaker than their peers. Victims of bullies often fear school and consider it to be an unsafe and unhappy place.(Olweus,1993) As many as seven percent of America’s eighth-graders stay home at least once a month because of bullies. The act of being bullied tends to increase some students’ isolation because their peers do not want to lose social status by associating with them or because their peers do not want to increase the risks of being bullied themselves. Being bullied often leads to depression and low self-esteem-problems that can continue into adulthood. (Batsche,1993)

Students report that teachers seldom or never talk to their classes about bullying. School personnel may view bullying as a harmless rite of passage that is best ignored unless verbal and psychological intimidation crosses the line into physical assault or theft. (Charach, 1995) Parents and school personnel can help the children who are repeatedly the target of bullying. Sometimes parents and school personnel may not know that a child is being bullied. Some children are intimidated into secrecy. They may also keep quiet, because they feel shameful that they have allowed this to happen. They may fear that the parents or teachers will either criticize them or that the parents will intervene in a way that will make everything worse. Signs that a child is the victim of a bully may be non-specific signs of school distress. This might include falling grades, physical complaints on school days, and lack of interest in school work or sports. More specific signs would be unexplained injuries or torn clothes, missing belongings or money, or repeated requests for more money. If someone is taking a child’s lunch, he or she may come home hungry even though he took an adequate lunch to school. Certain physical complaints are often associated with being bullied, usually because of the stress involved, which results in difficulty sleeping, stomachaches, headaches, not wanting to eat, and wetting the bed. Children who are being bullied also may exhibit secretive behavior or unusual behavior like temper tantrums, excessive trips to the school nurse, or rushing to the bathroom as soon as they get home after school, because they have been avoiding rest rooms at school. (Bullying, 2005)

How can you help a child deal with the bullying? First, help teach him to avoid being an easy target. Start with posture, voice, and eye contact. These can communicate a lot about whether a child is vulnerable. If bullying starts, he might be able to deflect it with humor or by changing the subject. He should run over a list of positive attributes in his mind. This reminds him that he is worthy of something better than bullying behavior. Teach the child not to obey the commands of the bully. Often it is better to run away than to comply. The parent and school personnel may help the child make more positive friends. If he or she sticks around with a group, he is less likely to be a target. Finally, if the child sticks up for other children he sees being bullied, people may get the idea that he is not someone who tolerates bullies. The child must learn to discriminate the difference between social bullying and more dangerous physically threatening situations. If he is in an isolated place and truly feels physically threatened, he should give the bully the item he demands. However, if someone is demanding that he get into the car of a stranger, he should resist with as much force as possible. Once he gets away, he should notify a responsible adult as soon as possible.

How do you handle the child that is the bully? A child can be a bully for a variety of reasons. Not all bullies are the product of a violent or neglectful home. If a child continually bullies others, he too experiences psychological harm. Patterns of aggression and intimidation can become ingrained. The longer they persist, the more difficult they are to get rid of. Find out as much as you can about the problem. Is this child the leader or just one of the group of followers? If the child is a follower, talk to him about the situation. If his behavior persists, you may need to keep him away from the leader or even the entire group. Supervise the child more closely when he plays. Finally, parents should make sure their children feel loved and supported, even when things go wrong. Children who feel confident in their parents’ love and uncritical support are able to withstand the challenges of their peer relationships much better than those without that solid foundation. (Dunkelblau, 2002)

If the child is the leader in bullying activities, you need to find out as much as you can about the extent and nature of his or her activities. Protect the child by seeing that his victim is protected. If necessary, restrict the child from going near his victim. Talk to the child about alternatives to violent or socially intimidating behavior. Make sure that he or she understands the personal impact that the bullying can have on the victim. Make sure that the child apologizes. If material objects have been stolen or destroyed, the child must pay for them. If he or she cannot do so, insist that he or she work off the payments over time.

Drew Edwards, adjunct professor of psychology at Wake Forest University and author of the book “How to Handle a Hard-to-handle Kid,” says that kids who are bullies are strong-willed and impulsive. Negatives lead to negatives. When they get negative feedback for their behavior, they tend to give negative feedback to kids who they see as weaker than they are. Edwards also suggests parents ask themselves what kind of example they are setting for a child. If a parent frequently yells at a child or hits the child, that child is more likely to act aggressively toward others. Kids who bully tend to be those who are bullied by parents or others. (Walker, 2005)

Finally, parents and school personnel should help the child understand why he has the need to intimidate others. An ongoing dialogue should be started. In some cases, the child may have so much anger, impulsivity, or depression that it cannot be handled alone. In this case, professional advice must be sought.

The new trend in bully-proofing a school is to incorporate anti-bully curriculum. There are many prepackaged programs that schools can choose from if they don’t want to develop their own program. The
Take A Stand Program
is one revolutionary approach to the prevention of bullying. Teachers, school administrators, and parents learn that it is possible to take a stand for having a community that will not tolerate bullying. The TAKE A STAND Program creates a school-wide community of interpersonal problem solving and mutual respect. (Take a Stand).

Bully-Proofing Your School is another comprehensive school climate program designed to support schools in creating a safe learning environment. The program focuses on converting the silent majority, who are neither bullies nor victims, into the caring majority who join together to take a stand for a safe and bully-free school. The Bully-Proofing program is designed for elementary and middle school students with specific curriculum designed for each level. The program includes six basic components: staff training, student instruction, support of the victims, intervention with the bullies, systems intervention, and the development of a positive, caring climate within the school. It was developed by Dr. William Porter, Director of Student Achievement Services in the Cherry Creek Schools, and four other professionals in the Cherry Creek District. The Bully-Proofing program is used in elementary and middle schools both locally and nationally. (Hubbell, 2002)

Schools can also create their own bully prevention programs. The first step is to create a survey to assess the amount of bullying and where it is taking place. While many schools use a questionnaire others may use a map of the playground or campus on which students mark areas where bullying is prevalent. From the information gained from the survey the school can create an anti-bullying committee in which students are active participants as well as teachers, staff, and parents. This could then lead to anti-bullying lessons for the student body, parent meetings and articles in the school newsletter to help the school spread the anti-bullying message, and clear procedures for staff to follow if they become aware of bullying. Most schools also find it helpful to develop peer mediation programs to assist students to resolve disputes before they degenerate into ongoing harassment.

Regardless of which program a school chooses, the important thing to keep in mind is taking a stand against school violence and bullying, because lack of intervention implies that bullying is acceptable and can be done without fear of consequences. Bullies and their accomplices need to understand the harm they cause and that their behavior will not be tolerated at school.