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Can Humans Change The Way They are?

Can people change the way they are? This article says they can.

People can and do change the way they are, but often its not by choice. In most cases people end up changing over the years to be what others want them to be. Lets say for example your a alcoholic and your marriage is falling apart and your children are suffering. It may come down to you changing your ways or being on your own.

When the right proposition is made a person can make a bold change, often it can even be done cold turkey. Sometimes its not this easy at times it takes something dramatic before a person will ever change their ways.  

A man who has drank alcohol his entire life has the, I will do what I want attitude. His family’s suffering and as sad as it may be its not enough to stop his ways. He has tried several times to quit but the bottle always wins. One day after 30 some years of marriage his wife who had suffered emotional and physical abuse finally decides she can not take it anymore and leaves with her children. After all this time he figured she hadn’t left by now she isn’t ever going to. But now she’s gone and he begs her to come back, with no idea whats going to happen next. He has lived most his life with her and now its gone. Since she’s left he hasn’t drank a drop, not because he was trying to stop but because he was so overwhelmed with what was going on. Then it happens he must stop drinking in order to ever see his children again. Then just like that this once selfish alcoholic has now changed completely. He no longer drinks or thinks they way he use to. His minds more clear he thinks and worries about his children more and regrets the loss of his wife and he has different priorities then he once had. He changed not because he wanted to but because he had to.

 Have you ever heard a cheating spouse argue, I will change and never do anything like that again. Most people say if they do it once they will do it again. This all depends on how much effect their spouse has on their life. I hate to put it this way but often its categorized as how much they love you. If  their feelings are so deep for you that they don’t see their selves living without you then chances are that they will change and never cheat again. But if the feelings are not strong enough often they will do it again and the marriage will fail.

People can change their ways when given the opportunity, sometimes in life we don’t give people the chance to prove this. We shape who we are by the choices we make and the things we do. Next time someone needs just one more chance to do something right, perhaps you will give them the time to change. 

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User Comments
  1. Mary Patricia Bird

    On May 12, 2010 at 5:25 pm

    I asked my therapist recently, “How can I change who I am?” Her response was that it wasn’t so much about changing as it is about growth.

    Great article.

  2. Karen Gross

    On May 24, 2010 at 12:47 am

    Great article. People can change with the right motivation, but it is hard work.

  3. Chelsea

    On May 24, 2010 at 11:49 pm

    Great article! I totally agree…so yeah keep it up! : )

  4. Irishmick

    On October 24, 2010 at 3:53 pm

    A person can change, But only if THEY want to.

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