Cellular Cancer

By the way, there is a reason I used the concept of hearing voices in my head other than for the sake of random humor. Because of cell phones, people are always talking to people who aren’t there. Have you ever been in a room where everyone in the room is talking, but none of them are talking to each other? That’s an eerie experience. Each of them has a little device in their hand, not even reaching all the way to their mouths, jabbering into them. Then I stand there in awe, witnessing firsthand our society almost reaching the top of the cliff it will be plummeting from soon.

I’m watching the civilized man make advances in technology to make life easier, but then he forgets how to function like he did before the advancement was made. When everyone shuts their phones, it’s fascinating and terrifying at the same time. All of a sudden the room is cursed with an awkward silence. No one knows what to say to each other. It’s astonishing. It truly is.

Now you can’t have a conversation with someone without a cell phone call interrupting. It’s not that I care to hear what they have to say all the time, but the concept is dumbfounding. I’m standing right in front of someone rambling on about some TV show I’ve never heard of, and the person is suddenly summoned by a phone. Then the person answers with the grammatically incorrect “where you at?” phrase and talks to someone who isn’t even in the same room, the same building, or sometimes even the same town. Maybe they have relatives in Turkmanistan. I don’t know.

Anyway, they also like to say, “My phone is ringing.” No, it isn’t. It’s playing a song. If anything, it’s making an annoying sing-songy beeping noise. I know what ringing sounds like. It’s what my phone still does as it sits connected to a phone jack in the wall. Hearing a professional rap artist instruct the listener to back that ass up or some such thing, is not equivalent to a ring. It may be just as irritating of a sound, but don’t say your phone is ringing when it is not. Just “back that ass up” back to the door and put the phone down before you leave the house.