Determine How Many Years a Girl – Tips for Men

Determine how many years a girl – tips for men

16 years old: Girl with a player

PLUS: You have it first.

DISADVANTAGES: You have it first.

Appearance: Green hair, blue nails, black lips. Naked belly button with a silver thing, nose ring and monstrous shoes on a three-story platform. But even all this together can not spoil a great skin, thin waist and half-bubies . And no cellulite. Ah, youth, youth …

Aroma: Lots of fresh greens and a drop of lemon. Les Belles de Ricci by Nina Ricci.

Places to walk: Always crowded and noisy, ad nauseam. Disneyland in California, in extreme cases – a Ferris wheel in the park. Popcorn, balloons and sweaty palm of happiness in your hand. In a word, the cheerful company. Poured.

Taste: With a constant noise will have to accept, and at once. Young animals (including, of course, human babies), without exception, curious and full of life, so keep moving. And cry. Mostly loud. And not always melodic. Therefore, whether you like it or not, and will have to learn that meowing vile girl, like a guard booth – it turns out, the singer Zemfira and disgusting form bubling face inveterate drug addict – a “ducky Lagutenko” from “Mummy Troll”. What did you expect? Young people are our idols.

GIFTS: CD-player acidic colors.

FEEDING: Do not expect to lure nimble nymphet romantic candlelight dinner, “as in adults.” Anyway she secretly put in excellent Chablis 1996 sugar harvest, because they can not drink ’such a terrible sour “and scare to death of oysters. In addition, the girls at the tender age of confused cutlery and flirt with the waiters. So you’d better confine hot dog, pod fried potatoes with ketchup and sour liter glass of milkshake. You heartburn, of course, is guaranteed, but the child will be in seventh heaven of joy.

SEX: Ouch! And what did you get that? You can touch it?

PREDICTION: It will rise, and forget their parents. Do you remember?

SUMMARY: No, Humbert, the great and terrible, he was right. Spicy brown flavor of youth – it is certainly great, but the girls at this age still be from time to time to wash my hair. And more often to take a shower.

20 years: everything before and everything is permitted

She knows everything. She still can. It was everywhere and saw everything. And in general – there is no light steeper professional, more subtle psychological and more intelligent man than she is, gorgeous. And, of course, she knows everything and knows everything in the bed. In short, it is round fool.

ADVANTAGES: Of course, my thesis, it will not protect than ever, and the world, thank God, will remain the same.

DISADVANTAGES: Blame this be you.

APPEARANCE: A narrow skirt, blouse a dazzling, elastic chest. Rimmed glasses stupid (and simple, as you know, glasses), but this manner of biting pen cap, the ever-slipping shoulder strap with a round … Legs, in general, almost like you want, but use them she is still a charming awkwardness and secretly prefer studs and suits worn jeans and an old shoe. However, it looks quite appetizing in any form. Especially if silent.

Aroma: A whole basket of peaches, raspberries, tangerines and juicy green apples. Ate and would not come off. In Love Again by Ives Saint Laurent.

Places to walk: the most complex and places of worship. Clubs with big names and the nefarious reputation. Want to impress a girl at heart – to take her to a “blue” or “pink” club. It is, of course, fun from embarrassment, but will break from all force secular lady, picturesquely smoking a cigarette and oppressive to complain that the cocaine from her cold. In short, you’ll enjoy.

Taste: As cocaine is, of course, lied. But the less smoke it certainly can not hurt. As well as smaller reading on the night of Cortazar and cited in the morning Kierkegaard. But at the same time explain the baby – of course, the rights of older friend and, of course, a good British English – that her English is, unfortunately, leaves much to be desired …

GIFTS: The first volume of collected works of Novikov’s full AP Sumarokov, M., 1778., In good condition, with drops of tears, pencil marks I. Dmitrevsky in the fields.

FEEDING: This is where oysters and snails will be useful well. Just as truffles, foie gras and consommé with patty. If only names were pozamyslovatee, and the prices more expensive. Of course, it is unlikely your girlfriend will be able to evaluate all of these delights in the dignity, but it certainly would be nice to feel like an adult. And, of course, obligatory candles, roses, crisp tablecloths and Dry Martini. But most also did not emphasize – at this age girls are somehow convinced that there are many – non-intellectual. Although the night is still secretly sneak to the fridge and looked around with a hunted, construct themselves a three-story sandwich. And it certainly gives us some optimism.

SEX: Look what I have here is … You can touch it. Yes, not so! Well, I’ll teach you …

OUTLOOK: Everything passes. And youth, unfortunately, too.

SUMMARY: Thank God, youthful maximalism – it is something like measles. And they all get sick once in a lifetime. For which there are complications …

25 years: the island of lost ships

She added four kilograms, it has four lines and four hundred jars and experiences four wrinkles and four kilograms. And, of course, four mourning pictures on the dressing table – first love, first husband, the most fatal error and last passion. All – in the past tense and the singular. In short, all gone, boss, all is lost! Life is decidedly not a success.

PLUS: One of the four fine lines – between the buttocks.

DISADVANTAGES: It is now on a diet. Always.

APPEARANCE: As you know, the extra roundness and soft boroughs not deform women, and even vice versa – is decorated. That’s only if it were not for these stupid quilted bathrobe and slippers with pompoms …

Fragrance: Roses. Million of red roses. TRESOR by Lancome.

Places to walk: In this strange age of even the most active and sophisticated ladies somehow domesticate wild and start all places prefer your own apartment. Here on this most monstrously vulgar and cluttered apartment, and you’ll be with her for a walk. From the richly whipped and starched bed (cat, maybe go toa bedce?) Impregnated with aromas of borscht to the kitchen (the sun, do not you hungry?). Back and forth. Back and forth. Until vomit. Continued!

Addiction: Its time has come. Finally, it might not show off, but violently Ladies read novels that had shyly hidden in a bedside table. And, of course, watching it on TV all the sickening series. Row.

PRESENTS: Three pounds of veal paired with Central Market.

FEEDING: Do you understand, to feed its no longer needed. She will feed you. So yes, that will not find it: the cakes with mushrooms and pancakes, and pork chops on the bone. But she will sit, chew your diet crackers and piteously, like a woman, sighing.

SEX: Oh, do not look, here I have a crease. And here, too …

OUTLOOK: Still, you have to marry her … In a pinch, she’ll marry you. Itself.

SUMMARY: Take your own and run, run, run. Blow their legs, feet and legs.

30 years: a little sun in cold water

Last, the most greedy gulp of air before the executioner in a scarlet robe he knocks out from under her lovely legs crudely knit stool. In short, morning Strelets’execution. Stand – the court goes!

PLUS: She herself – a solid plus.

DISADVANTAGES: She is 30 years.

APPEARANCE: She knows how to look slim and fresh, carefully watching his hands and uses the services of a good beautician. Thank God, finally learned how to use cosmetics. But what can I say – she has learned over the years, but – alas! This woman autumn, gentlemen, fine, but a hopeless fall.

Aroma: Sweet dust, ashes, sublime wilting classics. Chanel N5 by Chanel.

Places to walk: see Paris (Los Angeles, Tokyo, London, Rome, etc. – please underline) – and die.

Addiction: unpredictable and capricious, like a pregnant woman. In the case certainly try to thoroughly break your heart and ruin lives. In a word, and live in a hurry, and feel the rush, although it is clear that the train would go no further, please release the cars.

Gifts: Brilliant Count Orlov “in 126 carats mounted in white gold. The smaller it does not agree.

FEEDING: Lord, how many times you explain that I only drink cognac and only one hundred excerpts!

SEX: Yes, yes, yes, dear! More! More! More!

PREDICTION: I’m sorry, gentlemen, but that’s not a hunt, and duel. And before you is not scared game, and a full-fledged competitor who does not grimace, close up shot you right in the middle of the forehead. If you certainly do not have time to shoot first.

SUMMARY: At war, both on you. And to you, as in war.