Comments on: Equal Parental Responsibility = Legal Child Abuse http://socyberty.com/issues/equal-parental-responsibility-legal-child-abuse/ Mon, 20 Feb 2012 04:40:41 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: amother http://socyberty.com/issues/equal-parental-responsibility-legal-child-abuse/comment-page-1/#comment-245471 amother Sat, 20 Feb 2010 02:03:31 +0000 http://socyberty.com/issues/equal-parental-responsibility-legal-child-abuse/#comment-245471 Thank you for voicing my despair so eloquently and painting a helpful warning picture about the damage courts do on top of the abuse. This is corroborated by other papers in google about damage to children from courts. Children are forced to side with people in an adversarial system that feeds financially on family distress and also a mediation system that feeds the court system as it is a tick box gateway to legal aid for the courts and also has a paper agreement at the end of it which the solicitors will pounce on to rubber stamp so that if a child ever changes their visitation needs or desires the mother will be in breach of the law for supporting the child's wishes unless she has the time and money to keep on going back to the courts to beg to change the legally binding order. Today I nearly gave in and thought I would trust mediation out of despair to discover that my ex only offered to pay for it so that he could access legal aid to go to court. Nobody explains anything, even mediation services are all very difficult to understand even for someone with a phd and a job in information, and seemingly secretive about charges and confidentiality etc. They get you in and then they tell you where you stand by which time it is too late to abandon things for fear of it looking bad. What we need is more free family therapy. There is NONE for all these massive social problems of nearly half of relationships failing. Access to legal aid is also unlikely for mothers who have a modicum of savings but very little income, which makes it impossible for them to fight a fair battle (were they even to have the time), or be forced to fight alone with seld help packs from the Rights of Women organisation, for example, or be forced to spend savings or sell up and expose themselves and children to destitution. If it is not too late and the relentless abuse from all sides and lack of support with all the stigma that comes at single parenting has not already broken them. It happened to my mother at a time and in a country when only men had the right to parental responsibility, and my father ran away to be in a band leaving her with three young children. She lost her mind and he returned and took us away from her overnight, but in the end they both paid with premature deaths from heart disease. Thank you for voicing my despair so eloquently and painting a helpful warning picture about the damage courts do on top of the abuse. This is corroborated by other papers in google about damage to children from courts. Children are forced to side with people in an adversarial system that feeds financially on family distress and also a mediation system that feeds the court system as it is a tick box gateway to legal aid for the courts and also has a paper agreement at the end of it which the solicitors will pounce on to rubber stamp so that if a child ever changes their visitation needs or desires the mother will be in breach of the law for supporting the child’s wishes unless she has the time and money to keep on going back to the courts to beg to change the legally binding order. Today I nearly gave in and thought I would trust mediation out of despair to discover that my ex only offered to pay for it so that he could access legal aid to go to court. Nobody explains anything, even mediation services are all very difficult to understand even for someone with a phd and a job in information, and seemingly secretive about charges and confidentiality etc. They get you in and then they tell you where you stand by which time it is too late to abandon things for fear of it looking bad. What we need is more free family therapy. There is NONE for all these massive social problems of nearly half of relationships failing. Access to legal aid is also unlikely for mothers who have a modicum of savings but very little income, which makes it impossible for them to fight a fair battle (were they even to have the time), or be forced to fight alone with seld help packs from the Rights of Women organisation, for example, or be forced to spend savings or sell up and expose themselves and children to destitution. If it is not too late and the relentless abuse from all sides and lack of support with all the stigma that comes at single parenting has not already broken them. It happened to my mother at a time and in a country when only men had the right to parental responsibility, and my father ran away to be in a band leaving her with three young children. She lost her mind and he returned and took us away from her overnight, but in the end they both paid with premature deaths from heart disease.

]]> By: marie Pettigrew http://socyberty.com/issues/equal-parental-responsibility-legal-child-abuse/comment-page-1/#comment-196819 marie Pettigrew Mon, 23 Nov 2009 12:49:38 +0000 http://socyberty.com/issues/equal-parental-responsibility-legal-child-abuse/#comment-196819 An excellent article which sums up my situation. I have just chatted to my son who is in denial that his father did manipulate him to deny his mother and tell lies to the CAFCASS officer. He believes that it was his decision at 10 years old to tell lies to the CAFCASS officer to make sure his father had custody despite the fact that his father coached him and made him uncomfortable in his mother's presence as he asked him to keep "secrets" about his father's affair and that they were in fact living with him mistress who was also grooming him. It is so sad as he is an extremely unhappy 17 year old with huge self-esteem issues and under constant pressure from his father to succeed when he just can't make the grade. The CAFCASS officer believed his every word even though a quick chat with anyone would have revealed that what my son had said was a blatant lie. CAFCASS are underqualified buffoons who have huge power without public scrutiny. An excellent article which sums up my situation. I have just chatted to my son who is in denial that his father did manipulate him to deny his mother and tell lies to the CAFCASS officer. He believes that it was his decision at 10 years old to tell lies to the CAFCASS officer to make sure his father had custody despite the fact that his father coached him and made him uncomfortable in his mother’s presence as he asked him to keep “secrets” about his father’s affair and that they were in fact living with him mistress who was also grooming him. It is so sad as he is an extremely unhappy 17 year old with huge self-esteem issues and under constant pressure from his father to succeed when he just can’t make the grade.

The CAFCASS officer believed his every word even though a quick chat with anyone would have revealed that what my son had said was a blatant lie.

CAFCASS are underqualified buffoons who have huge power without public scrutiny.

]]> By: Mr Ghaz http://socyberty.com/issues/equal-parental-responsibility-legal-child-abuse/comment-page-1/#comment-186384 Mr Ghaz Thu, 05 Nov 2009 11:37:49 +0000 http://socyberty.com/issues/equal-parental-responsibility-legal-child-abuse/#comment-186384 Good post..well-written piece and very informative..Thanks for sharing this great infos :) Good post..well-written piece and very informative..Thanks for sharing this great infos :)

]]>