Give the Victims a Voice

When I was seven, my mom began dating a man that worked at Dow Corning. He had his own home and three daughters of his own. From afar he would appear to be a perfect gentleman and a loving father. Mind you, at a glance Dahmer appears normal at a glance. He was no killer but he had an issue or two of his own that he saved until after the “I do’s” were said.

Within weeks after they got married, we were down in the basement/family room. He had just gotten out of the shower and was wearing a bathrobe. My mom was sitting on the recliner, brushing my older sisters’ hair. He started kind of picking at me. It very quickly turned into a tickle-fest. At one point he had me flipped upside down and I found out the hard way that he wasn’t wearing any underwear. This would not be the first of last time he exposed himself to me. Several years later, it came out. His oldest daughter took my mom aside and informed her that he had been raping and molesting his daughters until they were twelve years old. The police were never informed. He continued to victimize little girls, despite the counseling. Disturbingly enough, the authorities have never been informed of his behavior. Most families see it as a family affair.

Is this what family does to each other? I was molested by a cousin when I was about eight. The police were never called, my mom just let my Uncle handle it. Every woman I have ever gotten to know, has been molested. This is not a discussion I go around having on a daily basis. Honestly I haven’t talked about it in years, but that shouldn’t be the case. Once a girl has been abused, she’s seen as damaged goods. She’s a victim. We just don’t talk about it. We don’t stand up and scream it on our front step.

Within the last year, I found out that my daughter was sexually abused by a family member. I reported and had every intention of seeing him rot in a prison cell and take what he dishes out. After several months of not getting phone calls returned, and my four year old little girl having to rehash the entire situation in front of perfect strangers, the proper authorities decided she was too young to know the difference between reality and pretend. What other reason did a four year old have, for being able to describe the genitiles of the accused?

The fact of the matter is, it simply isn’t being addressed when it should be. It’s a family secret, swept under a rug. We set these child molesters up, so they can do it again and again. We need action. We need a voice. Advocates are useless if they don’t believe you. How many women do you know, that have been victimized? How many times are we going to let these maniacs have access to other peoples children, before we speak up? Something needs to be done. If you have been abused, please just leave an X In the comment box. Let’s give victims a voice. Isn’t it about time we spoke up?