How to be Successful at Life

- get off your lazy welfare ass and get a job

- Don’t abuse your wife

- Don’t kill your daughter for having a boyfriend/becoming pregnant

- Don’t join the KKK

- Don’t become a police officer

- Work hard but not too hard

- Win the lottery 

- Don’t break your spine 

- Drink coffee every morning like a real man/women

- Don’t get killed by a  gang member

- Join facebook 

- Make your own social network 

- Meet bill gates

- Give me all your cash 

- Shop at cheap places like pawn shops

- Get greedy 

- Cheat on your wife

- Get laid constantly

- Get an abortion 

- buy a sleepies mattress 

- Only drink dr.pepper 

- Get a dog not a cat

- Drop out of school 

- Don’t go to college

- listen to death metal 

- & Dont become to religious

and you will become successful.