Identify The Bully, Even If Its a Friend
The first line of defense against your children being bullied is you.
Identify the Bully, Even if it’s a “Friend”
NJ school districts have been directed to devise programs that will increase awareness of harassment, intimidation and bullying. This effort will supposedly educate students about their conduct and do much to improve civility in and out of the classroom. This is a response to the revised Anti-Bullying legislation signed into law by Governor Christie last January.
Schools and educators can assume some responsibility for bullying but only some. A child’s first line of defense against harassment is in the home. This defense breaks down when parents are unwilling to acknowledge the source of their children’s torment.
Caregivers are given the “warning signs” that their children are potential victims. This can include, but is not limited to, poor performance in school, bad temper, sleep disturbance, or withdrawing from social situations. They are told to “look for signs” that children are being bullied.
But are parents and guardians willing to acknowledge the truth about the people that are “bullies.” It is likely a person that their child knows well; a so-called friend, a team mate, someone at their lunch table, or even a cousin. Probably, the bully has regular communication with the victim through social contact and on-line communication. Recent incidents of teen suicide reveal that the victims knew the bullies and were subjected to regular contact.
Chances are, the victim is ashamed or embarrassed to report the abuse because either no one would believe it or they fear retaliation. It is incredibly hard to come forward and report people who are respected by others like the team captain, a relative, or school president. Social pride should never stand in the way of reporting harassment, intimidation and bullying.
Bullying has no face, no boundaries. Parents and guardians must step up to the plate with a willingness to make the difficult choice and admit their children are the sad victims of abusive behavior. Confronting the truth about someone you know well may incredibly hard. Bullies must be identified to be stopped.
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