Interracial Relationships: Black and White That Ain’t Right
by An article from a first-hand personal experience on interracial relationships and the reactions they create in society that continue to defy the supposed end of racial prejudices.
Black and white interracial couples seem to endure stares more often than any other interracial couple. At least I know this from my own reaction because even I look at black and white couples more closely than any other. I am interested in them from my perspective because "like attracts like." I look at them in search of the subtle exchanges they make and I wonder about their situations and their children. I see more black and white couples attracting extra glances and stares than an asian and white or a hispanic and white couple sitting two tables down from them. Maybe its just me in my hypersensitivity to a situation common to my own. I am sure all interracial relationships suffer their own stigmas and levels of social conflict.
My interracial marriage came later in life so we have no racially mixed children to test the waters of young society’s acceptance. However, I still hear conversations about the teasing mixed children can suffer by the insensitivity and cruelty of youth. Because I was always an outcast in school due to extreme shyness and social ineptitude I know that teasing and taunting comes in all shapes, sizes and intents. Perhaps the children of mixed parentage are teased for their different skin tones, their hair texture, or their color of eyes by their peers and even family members but teasing is not likely to end when racial prejudice is eliminated. Respectable, loving attitudes of adults are the foundation for a socially developed community of young citizens but maturity takes time. For the most part, tolerant parents encourage the development of tolerant children. Bigotry and prejudice are not always passed down from generation to generation. nor is it always the product of childhood example. We are individuals with God-given free will to formulate our own opinions and attitudes. It is my personal belief that the closer we are to the divinity of God’s grace, the more we are able to accept the endless differences in mankind and welcome them with open arms. All content and photos copyright by Susan Raines
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Post CommentHeather
On August 25, 2009 at 10:14 am
I never gave much thought to this topic, I guess because I don’t see the color difference. Unfortunatley the world is filled with close minded people. Another awesome article I can’t wait for the next one
Valerie Hayes
On August 25, 2009 at 5:22 pm
In my case I seem to stare and feel strange at first with any thing different. The more I get out there in the world the less it happens but it still does into my old age. More communication like this one helps….Guest
XXElleXX
On September 15, 2009 at 2:59 am
Inter-racial marriages are very common in Australia. All humans regardless of race, ethnicity, nationality, religion, culture, lifestyle etc belong to the same species, hominadae. I don’t think two people fall in-love with one another because of their contrasting skin colours LOL. You have shown great personal courage and I’m glad you have found someone who loves you, cares for you and stands with you. The fact that your hubby is black and you are white is really of no consequence, except to those who have nothing better to talk about! I am also in an inter-racial relationship (he’s Italian and I’m a white Australian) and I have found life is far too short to become caught up in things that don’t matter. Excellent write Susan and I love the pic too
BTW You should visit the forum, I think you will enjoy the company of some of the writers in there.
Leonardo da Vinci E.
On September 25, 2009 at 11:31 am
I have sorrow that you and your husband must endure the backwardness of our culture; Its good to note that things are improving slowly. “We the people” are determined that America will one day live up to its idealistic Constitution.
R Capel
On September 26, 2009 at 9:50 pm
I applaud your comitment and courage to glare back into the eyes of the ignorant folks you have encountered with this article-well done!
rog
On September 30, 2009 at 2:36 am
look at africa, look at haiti, look at detroit, look at any area with a high concentration of negroes and you have high levels of crime, rape, aids and general stupidity running rampant.that is why people stare, your with a simian. congrats.
Susan Raines
On September 30, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Dear poor Rog, may God bless you and keep you and others from the harm of your ignorance. May the darkness of your soul find relief from the depth of its pain of hatred so that you may some day know God\’s love and the love of your fellow man of all color, creed, and sex.
Stephanie
On December 14, 2009 at 1:23 am
Hi,
does anyone know how to contact the writer of this article? Her name is Susan Raines.
My email is jocastin@gmail.com
kidcrossen
On February 6, 2010 at 9:49 am
Susan, I am sorry for the moronic comment from Rog, people will believe anything no matter how fantastic. I really enjoyed your article and thoughts!! Very well-written and articulate/well-put. I have a black girlfriend, who I met online, havent met her, but I already dread getting stares when I visit her. She says it wont happen. I have gotten to really love her, her skin color is almost irrelevant, she is very unique as people go, but I cant tell my brother about her skin as he is a bit racist,and if my girlfriend decided to come visit me, I would almost have to talk her out of it because of my brother, Well, thanks for your article and God bless you and keep you! Sincerely, Will
steen
On April 28, 2010 at 11:42 am
I find it amazing that all the white females MUST bring their African into the white community – all of them. I believe white females do it for attention. I also believe that they know darn well what would be their fate if they went to live in a black community – among his people.
I also believe she looks at him as her pet, as if she’s taming the savage beast. She’s saving him; she’s rescuing him; he has no chance without her pity and support.
The cultural and racial divide is there. It is established by males…and it will always exist. Her children will be black. Not mixed but black.
Melinda J
On August 6, 2010 at 3:37 pm
Oh my Lord, I can’t people are so bold to post these negative comments. Great article, Susan. May God continue to bless the union of your marriage.
funkystarkitty50
On September 6, 2010 at 7:45 pm
I pray that you will continue to stand strong with your husband in the face of ignorance. I’m Black, my husband is White, so I know the stares. I just ignore it because you have to have a thick skin dealing with narrow-minded people. Prejudice is a disease and there are still people who are sick with it.
Good Luck to You and Your Husband:-)
Mariette Weyers
On November 10, 2010 at 2:49 am
Good day readers and writers. Im an afrikaans girl grew up in an boer house.. My father is from the old regeim. I have fell in love with a colourd man. im 25 he is 29. We have been together for 6months now and what a endless fight. From the beginning i have been open about what was happening in my life and the happiness is around and on my face. I have been greatly excepted by his family,Wich are from great morals and visions.But unfortunately not by mine. I got pregnant 2months ago and lost our baby at 10weeks due to stress..I heve 3sisters including me we are four. It was a constant fight from day one. The humiliation aparently killed them. The heartache killed Almost me but did our baby. After the loss Family and friends came to me and advised me that im lucky to have a second chance. and that I should have known a tiger and a lion doesnt sleep under one tree.We have lost our baby.. AND NOT ECHATHER. i am stilled conored by family and friends to stop our relationship.. But its impossible the love we have is undescribeble.And have made a decision, My family made the choice to push us away. and therefor i am not taking part in this fight anymore, i am not participating in their sleepless nights of hate and pain.I understand and aknowledge I cant change my father a man of 69 to adapt to me and therefor will respect him and my mother best way i can. We see a future together and children wether it works out or not its life and the road were on. But up untill then I believe in our love. And will stand up and fight if needed for our love.I have lost 3sisters wich one is gay and for her my situation was unecseptable!!! LOL I have realised it is an endless fight. and need to stop wasting time on the negativity of the world out there and to love and enjoy the positivity of our world.. At the end of the day isnt that what true love is all about.. Stay strong in what you believe in. And respect another human beings choice of life. You never know when you gonna need it most.
baz
On December 6, 2010 at 9:39 am
Im a 36 year old white English man and I have been with my girlfried for 6 and a half months now. She is Ugandan and black as the ace of spades. I can honestly say she is the best women I have ever known.
christine
On January 29, 2011 at 2:13 am
I have been having a very hard time with this myself this incredible man that is beyond my belief at how loving and tender he can be asked me out we were friends at work started there at the same time and recently I began a divorce and he asked me out I didn’t know what to say I wanted to say yes but he was black and I white and I had been taught against such a thing yet here he was staring me in the face the man of my dreams was I going to let the color of his skin ruin what we could have. My black girlfriends told me he would hurt me and treat me as a possession and that a sexual encounter with him would be very painful. Most of my white friends that know him say he is a great guy and we all bleed the same color do it. God created all of us and all of us are different in some way shape or form I am sure my dad will never accept us and I guess that is ok because I have decided I am going to try it many white women have dated and even married black men and I don’t see blood running down their legs every day. Even though I am afraid of what we will face I am going to take this plunge because he is who I want to be with. He makes me laugh and he makes me feel so different than I have ever felt before I think God knew what he was doing when he brought him into my life. I am scared but I am excited and the only way to find out is to find out so here I go head first
alvinwriter
On February 9, 2011 at 10:44 am
Freedom of love is important and shouldn’t be compromised by others’ opinion. People will always have a say in society.
Steve
On March 22, 2011 at 6:02 pm
i have nothing against black people, but i can’t stand seeing a white woman with a black man. i’m no racist, but to me it just doesn’t seem right.
christina
On October 6, 2011 at 12:02 am
I am black and my fiance is white and I love him to death and I have grown to now care with people think. I am a free black woman for a reason and if I want to love and be with someone from another race I can. I feel the kids of today are not so much into what race people are, its mainly racist comments coming from the older generation. Slavery days are over so people should get over it. There will never be a area with all whites,blacks,mexicans,whoever as long as there is love in the world. God wrote our beginnings and he’ll write our end and that’s something no one can take from us.